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Mayan Priests To Kill Extra Chickens, Goats, To Purge Country Following Bush Visit
thenoseonyourface.com ^ | March 12, 2007 | Buckley F. Williams

Posted on 03/12/2007 2:10:17 PM PDT by NYTexan

President Bush’s most recent trip to Latin America has brought with it the standard anti-U.S. protests. Most of these being nearly identical to the ones that are regularly held on weekdays in the United States where participants are not actually missing work, American flags are lit on fire, and rioters hold poorly spelled signs and scream in broken English.

By some estimates, the most recent protest in Bogata drew as many as 250-300 Third Worlders who took time out of their busy schedules of chewing coca leaves, kidnapping for ransom, and playing soccer with rolled up rags on dirt lawns, to attack Mr. Bush.

For the most part, the crowd was fairly reserved. Some burned the president in effigy. Others threw homemade explosives called “potato bombs”. While others merely fired randomly into the crowd with assault weapons. However, one protester crossed the line screaming “Bush is a faggot!”, and had to be forcibly removed by UN forces.

The President can expect a similar reaction when he visits Guatemala today where local priests have vowed to “purify” the sacred Mayan religious site that he will be visiting.

“Bush is a very, very bad man,” said Mayan religious leader Acat Cuxtal (pictured at right). “We will have to use powerful magic to rid our country of his foul stench. Many chickens and goats will die to cleanse our sacred religious site at Iximche after this devil leaves.”

Cuxtal went on to say that goats and chickens are not the typical sacrificial symbols, but circumstances have dictated that they be used.

“Traditionally we would sacrifice a virgin in such a serious situation,” Cuxtal told a TNOYF reporter. “However, that all changed after your last president was in town. By the time he left, the closest thing to a virgin we could find was a 45-year-old syphilitic with a chronic yeast infection.”


TOPICS: Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: maya; mayan; mayans; mayas
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To: MarineBrat

Must be that organic diesel thats made from left over vegetable oil at fast food resturants.


41 posted on 03/12/2007 5:42:22 PM PDT by festus (The constitution may be flawed but its a whole lot better than what we have now.)
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To: keats5

I know. The shells over the ears made it difficult to....never mind.


42 posted on 03/12/2007 5:45:48 PM PDT by gathersnomoss
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To: NYTexan

[... Many chickens and goats will die to cleanse our sacred religious site ...]

I wonder if those would be "Right Wing" Chickens?


43 posted on 03/12/2007 7:32:21 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: gathersnomoss

LOL.

I get it.

I catch on............fast.


44 posted on 03/12/2007 7:34:24 PM PDT by keats5 (tolerance of intolerant people is cultural suicide)
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To: keats5

Just trying to get your goat ...




... sacrificed.


45 posted on 03/12/2007 7:39:38 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: NYTexan
“Traditionally we would sacrifice a virgin in such a serious situation,” Cuxtal told a TNOYF reporter. “However, that all changed after your last president was in town. By the time he left, the closest thing to a virgin we could find was a 45-year-old syphilitic with a chronic yeast infection.”

thanks, Tex
.....how is Shrillary? LOL! :D

46 posted on 03/13/2007 10:24:04 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass ( just b/c, you suffer from paranoia, doesn't mean they're not out to get you. :^)
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To: skinkinthegrass; NYTexan

Shrillary... the first FAUWMALE running for President.


47 posted on 03/13/2007 1:25:59 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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To: skinkinthegrass; NYTexan

Shrillary... the first FAUXMALE running for President.


48 posted on 03/13/2007 1:26:40 PM PDT by Jo Nuvark (Those who bless Israel will be blessed, those who curse Israel will be cursed. Gen 12:3)
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