Offsetting your carbon footprint takes decades

The Times ^ | 3/11/2007 | Jonathan Leake, Environment Editor

[EricT.]

I really like this scam.

I plan on purchasing a large amount of undeveloped land, most of which will be used for hunting on. If I sell carbon offsets for planting fruit and hardwood trees, I will be able to build the house on it much quicker.

[AlaskaErik]

SCHEMES used by environmentally conscious consumers to cut their “carbon footprint” could take up to a century to deliver the promised benefits, a study has suggested.

Yes, but their guilt is assuaged immediately, because it's all about feeling good, irregardless of consequences or results.

[CountryBumpkin]

For all the crazy flaming libs out there who bow at the altar of carbon offsets, I hereby open the Church of 'Stang. All donations will be used to offset my future carbon footprint by updating my '65 with a Boss 302 crate motor, fuel injection, and dual cats. Please ignore the blower. I promise to only use it occasionally to blow out the "carbon" on the highway. No donation is too small. Give generously today at www.howstupidareyou.org.

[Lurker]

Dear American Friend,

I am Prince KagaLambadaLaBoomBoomBadaBingBadaBoom of the Royal Family of Nigeria.

I have a difficulty which only you can help me with.

I have 300 million carbon offsets locked in a Swiss Bank in the name of my late father the dearly beloved King KagaLambadaLaBoomBoomBadaBingBadaBoomPingPingPooterScooter The First.

If you will help me retrieve these valuable offsets I will pay you the sum of $3,000,000.00 US Dollars.

All I require is your checking account number.

Please forward this to me as soon as possible via your secured Freepmail account and I will see that my manservant majordomo Mr. Manservant Majordomo completes the transaction.

Yours,

Prince KagaLambadaLaBoomBoomBadaBingBadaBoom

[higgmeister]

Offsetting your carbon footprint takes decades

Stuff and nonsense , one 38 cal. at the temple would do it in an instant!