"A friend of mine from the early 70s, an Irish Catholic guy, married a Jewish woman from the Midwest and they had three children (baptized Catholics) and 30 + years together."
Given what Roman Catholics have done to the Jewish people, you are really surprised by this? Had I been that woman's father, I would have thought of her as if she had never existed.
So you blame every Catholic for anything that any Catholic has ever done to any Jew?
Whoah, whoah, whoah.
Now there has certainly been historical bad blood between Jews and Catholics. But, the Catholic Church has done a lot of good for the Jewish people, as well.
Look at who sheltered a lot of Jews during the Holocaust. Look at what the last two popes have done and said. And there are many more example.
As a Jew, I look upon committed Catholics as brothers and sisters in the faith. Maybe their faith is somewhat different than mine, but we hold many (most even?) of the same values, and worship the same G-d.