"You forgot about the red heiffer. A rancher in Texas has been contracted to create a breed of unblemished red heiffers and has been successful in doing so, although the location of the ranch has been kept secret for fears of reprisals by Israel's enemies."
Yep.
The joke is that West Texas was picked because it looks exactly like Israel (which is true --- spent a lot of time in both, and basically identical.)
Are you telling me they created a live 'red' cow to be sacrificed?