Posted on 02/26/2007 6:03:43 PM PST by Soaring Feather
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Getting the Ship Under Way
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way.
The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules - make sure the captain is aboard before getting under way."
MONK COME ON Think about it is Al Gore Oscar Minn vanti come on so true I just have crazy thought ROFL
I been busy at work since this first time I got online today we just hire new guy who got discharge from MARINES SO i help this dude on computer system and stuff
NO I didn't get into with Muslums
This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
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Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.
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Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
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Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
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Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
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Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
*
Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
Doh!
Ha!!!!! Looks like "my" crew!:)
Off to clean me own self....
An Army Ranger was on vacation in Louisiana and wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes. However, the local vendors were asking very high prices. So the Army Ranger decided to go into the swamps and get his own alligator and then have the shoes made at a more reasonable price. When he mentioned this to one of the shopkeepers, he was told that he might run into a couple of Marines who had decided to do the same thing.
So the Ranger headed into the bayou and a few hours later he saw the two Marines. They were standing waist deep in the water. The Ranger then saw a huge gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.
Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.
The Ranger then heard one of the Marines shout, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"
Well then the day wasn't complete. Go to CVS tomorrow. :D You can't afford to be innocent. Stand up and face the enemy. It's a do or die situation. You will be invincible.
Fighter Pilot Jokes
Q. How do you know your date with the fighter pilot is half over?
A. He says "but enough about me - wanna hear about my plane?"
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.
Well I may have go to CVS this week pick up few things like Olay beauty products but I been keep my nose clean
re: 12
Too funny!
I sure miss watching the muppets!
hehehe! Hey remember this happy 80s song?
LOL!!!
Way too funny!
The Hecklers were my favorites out of all the muppets!
Thank you, Monk!!!
I certainly started a tangent with the Swedish Chef, didn't I? LOL!
OMG I did hum that song other day ROFL
SevenofNine in a Burka?! There isn't a red blooded American in the world who'd be happy about that. LOL!
Well Monk once put me in Burka once tomkow got on his case
OH WOW Tass news wire claim that Vlady successor Sergi Ivanov is claim if he run for presidency in 2008 he stick with Vlady tatics put everything under Kremlin control
Also UK times reporting that Russians are worry that Alaskans are overfishing artic circle
TOMKOW?????
The Russians need to stick their noses back into their vodka bottles and get a life. LOL!
"Also UK times reporting that Russians are worry that Alaskans are overfishing artic circleTOMKOW?????"
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