Chemo to coming out, Hallmark has the card

AP on MSNBC.com ^ | February 15, 2007

[rightwingintelligentsia]

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Buying a greeting card for someone’s birthday, anniversary or if the recipient is feeling under the weather is pretty straightforward.

But what if the person is undergoing chemotherapy or struggling with depression?

“Get Well Soon” probably won’t cut it.

Likewise, most cards lining the store shelves don’t work on occasions as someone leaving an abusive spouse, undergoing drug rehab or declaring their sexual orientation.

Hallmark Cards Inc., which has built its $4.2 billion empire on sentiments for life’s happier times, is releasing a new line of cards that will speak to those and other situations that the company says either have been ignored by greeting card companies or received only a smattering of attention from niche players.

[goldstategop]

I know what will cut it. An Obama Wowza line of greeting cards.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

[Rakkasan1]

a "get staight soon" card?

[Gay State Conservative]

Imagine the card you'd get if you were "coming out" while starting chemo!

[rightwingintelligentsia]

ROFL!

[upchuck]

How 'bout a, "I'm So Sorry You're a Politically Correct, Left-Wing Looser Crap Weasel" card?

[KoRn]

"I Hope You Get Out Of Jail Soon."

[July 4th]

A "Sorry about the election" card would actually sell pretty well, I think.

[OldFriend]

I stopped buying Hallmark cards when they hired Maya Angelou.

[Miss Marple]

No it wouldn't. The democrats would not be sorry they won and would never send us cards. When we won, sending cards to democrats would no doubt be construed as harassment, and they would sue us..

[andy58-in-nh]

From the Hallmark "Coming Out" collection:

We know that it's been difficult
For you these past few days
Not everyone can come to terms
With the plain fact you're Gay.

But here's a little note to say
We're there for you in spades
So choose your life mate carefully
And don't come down with AIDS.

[Lazamataz]

"I Hope You Get Out Of Jail Soon."

[dighton]

If ever I’m unlucky enough to have cancer, please don’t make things worse by sending this card.

[KoRn]

lol!

[Lazamataz]

We found out just last Tuesday,
That your favorite flute is skin,
So now we know you are gay,
And in this way you sin.

It's something to get used to,
So don't cry in your beer,
Know that we're behind you,
You donut-punching queer.

[word_warrior_bob]

I stopped buying Hallmark cards when they hired Maya Angelou.

____

Has there EVER been a worse poet? Whose delivery is SO forces, SO affected. Her work makes other hacks blush, if she was white do you think she would be so lauded?

[andy58-in-nh]

"I Hope You Get Out Of Jail Soon."

Hmmm. How about this from the Hellmark "So You Got Busted Collection":

I know you ain't no fancy reader
So Homes, chill while I tell:
I hate that you got yourself stuck
In a cold-ass prison cell.

If it was up to me, my man
I'd bust you out tonight
And we'd go find that stinking snitch
And f*** him up all night!

[andy58-in-nh]

ROFLMAOPIMP!!!

[martin_fierro]

[Cicero]

A card for every occasion.

"Happy seventh anniversary of your coming out of the closet!"

And many happy returns.