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and just stayed passed their visas

This is what surprises me, because I've been led to believe they keep close track on who is there, how long they'll be there, where they are staying and track them down when they don't leave on time.
I wasn't sure we would get through customs and the visa check. We had to give very specific info about where we were staying, etc. And when my son moved there to marry her, he couldn't get a bank acct., rent an apartment, etc. without a job and without being married or some connection to a citizen. But I will ask her about what you've said.

Read post 96. Its a good start.

You are right, they will put you through the wringer. I was a 3 year permanent resident when I left, so I know what you are saying.

I think what happened was that the system got overwhelmed and instead of making a fuss, they did the Japanese thing and didn't speak of it.

Remember the story of the Brinks robbery? Brinks had this reputation for being tough and unrobbable. The thieves found out that the booty room was guarded by one obsolete alarm and a 2 dollar padlock. True story. What we have here is the same thing. In order to keep our Face, we don't let you know we have a problem.

But anyone walking through certain parts of Tokyo knows better.