Dear Aqua. Alzheimer's is indeed a tragedy. Many prayers for your FIL. I have never seen such a devastating disease in my life... not in my family... but what I witnessed and related to in one of the nursing homes where my Mother lived for awhile.
My Mother absolutely loved the memory of working during the war at Douglas Aircraft. She was not exactly a Rosie the Riveter, but at first she was a messenger, then she worked in the parts department. The interesting thing was that the aircraft plant was covered by a camouflage "town," complete with "neighbors" talking across the fence. There was one actual attack in Santa Monica Bay also.
My father was a "planner" at Douglas but I only learned this decades later by searching family history records. My parents parted before I was born and he was never part of my life. I have never even seen a photo of him.
Anyway, I am also so proud of your father's and your husband's father's and uncle's service. May they all rest in peace yet know how grateful we are that they served our country.
Awe Dita.. sad story on your folks.. did your mom ever marry after you were born?
Hard to know all the parts of the story.. sometimes even the principals are misled, lied to etc & so their idea of the facts might be quite askew.
Well, should your dad ever 'appear', he will be proud to see & know what a fine woman you have become. His circumstances might be frustrating to accept but we can only answer to our own decisions & others must face up to theirs.