We're talking about library books here, not a secret Swiss bank account. Geez. He said, "as long as you're going to the library, would you mind picking up my books at the hold desk." When I got home he said, "where are my books?" I said, "the library won't give them to me because it's an invasion of your privacy." He said, "Son of a bitch! What kind of anal control freaks are they over there?"
BTW, since then we have filled out the paperwork and signed the release forms that "allows" us to pick up each other's books so the librarians don't have to worry about "invasion of privacy" when checking out the latest Vince Flynn thriller.
In my mind library books are even more important than money so I do see a higher issue of privacy. The books you read reflect what you are thinking and what you are planning. Money is just money.
Good. See, they provide a perfect solution to your situation. So what's the problem with that? Are you honestly so obtuse you can't see the other side? You can't understand that there are privacy concerns and that until you sign that form they can't just give your books to someone else in your household?
Just because you and your husband are taking out innocuous novels and don't care if your spouse picks it up for you doesn't mean everyone is in the same situation. The library, like every other institution, has rules to protect personal information and privacy. I can tell you of many examples I've seen in which someone wouldn't want their spouse picking up their books without their consent. You've both now given your written consent and are now free to pick up each other's books. Again, where's the problem with that?