"I'd like to make additional comments about "someone's" lineage and suggest some anatomically impossible feats"
Now you've got me wondering........
All I can say without getting banned is none of the proposed acts are in the Kama Sutra, they would never be mistaken for fun by any well-adjusted heterosexual, and they are probably illegal in most jurisdictions (I'm sure Massachusetts, Amsterdam, Gomorrah, and Uday Hussein's bedroom are on the exception list).