~Prayers~
Hello, everyone!
It is time for a prayer update. A couple people have asked, and I realize that I haven't written in two months-Wow!
Well, I got back home from the Lakeland Healing Outpouring, very excited, and anxious to share the anointing with Carrie. I really enjoyed the boost it gave me.
We have seen things moving forward on many different levels:
-one is the spiritual dimension (being able to take her to a couple of church/prayer services, going to Florida, being encouraged about miraculous healings taking place, etc.),
-one is the therapy dimension (we had some new occupational and physical therapists that taught us how to get her in the wheelchair easily, and she got some new splints for her hands)
-one is the home modifications.(it will provide a nice place for her to recover)
All in all, though...I am discouraged.
Carrie's accident and its aftermath have been at the forefront of my mind in all my waking and sleeping hours for 18 months, and I still can't believe it. Just can't believe it happened!
I really believe this is NOT God's will for her life.
And I don't know what else to do.
I made a list of all the things we have done in the spiritual realm, as well as nutrition, having good caregivers,sensory stimulation, etc. It is a long list.
But, she still is pretty much the same. She is not technically in a coma, but they call it persistent vegetative state. Of course, we don't like that term. She suffered a severe closed head injury and now has brain damage. They told us that she is not brain dead, but has minimal brain function. Even some of what we thought was progress isn't there any more. Is there anything too hard for God? Most assuredly, no. But this mother is discouraged.
We had a swallow study last week to see if she can take food orally. She ended up not being able to. Last summer, I was able to feed her almost a whole popsicle with no problems.
She also hasn't been sleeping well at night, and is at the highest level of medication to combat “tone”involuntary muscle tightness.
She still is in bed most of the time and is unresponsive and doesn't follow commands.
We do get her in the wheelchair for some trips around the block or to the family room.
So that is where things are right now.
Last week on Wednesday, we took over the nursing care business ourselves. Most of our good nurses are still working here, we just formed a business to bill the insurance directly. (this is a process that took months to come to fruition) I did this for Carrie's benefit. It will help us provide for things that insurance doesn't pay for - therapies, food, nutritional supplements, a van, etc. The name of the business is Banner Home Health Care. Dennis said, “where the Lord is our Banner, and Health and Healing are manifest” May it be so, Lord!
We also met with a couple insurance people and an architect and consultant to go over some plans to modify our home. Because it was an auto accident, the catastrophic care fund in the state of Michigan covers home modifications. I used to think it would be fun to have an extreme home make-over. I don't think so any more. We are still trying to nail down a plan agreeable to all parties.
Here are some things to pray about:
1. That we could get the wiring in her room fixed so we quit blowing fuses. An electrician looked at it today, and we want this resolved soon.
2. The home modifications be done quickly. Many steps to go through before they can start, however. The architect thought they'd start next spring. Den and I don't like that idea!
3. I have to find some doctors that will CARE about her. I am so thankful for the people (friends) that care about her. But we need someone (a good neurosurgeon) to look at her skull sinking in and offer some help. This is very disheartening to me.I need to get her records back from the neuro surgeon that thought it was only a cosmetic issue and try to line up another one. Our case manager suggested one that I will write a letter to. Pray for favor and good ideas from doctors on how to help her.
4. We need a good physiatrist to help with her “tone” problems. I have an appointment at Mary Free Bed hospital, but it isn't until Sept. 30! Can this doctor do anything to help?
5. Den has some Chinese friends who have encouraged us to try acupuncture. We need to find a specifically trained one, and the closest ones live in Toronto, San Diego, or New York. We can't do that. I haven't been able to locate any closer ones that fit the bill. In China they use an acupuncturist to treat stroke patients and stuff and she thought they would be able to help. Pray for wisdom and that God will lead us to the right people that can help Carrie. Or better yet, that God will sovereignly move and perform a miracle!
6. We have some web sites to look at that were suggested by the insurance people as far as conversion vans. We need wisdom and confidence.
7. Once we get our first reimbursement check from insurance, I want to contact Hope Network and just pay them out of pocket. They are a team of physical and occupational therapists that work with neurological patients. Pray that they will have something concrete to offer.
8. We have a couple of slots to fill in our nurse schedule. There are some wonderful people interested. We are thankful that the majority of caregivers are believers. Pray for wisdom to make the right decisions.
8. Carrie. It just all boils down to her, doesn't it?
Lord, that the bowls of heaven would be filled to overflowing with our prayers. That you would sovereignly move on her behalf, that she would have the abundant life you desire for her.
A friend of mine from church called a few days ago and her little girl wanted to pray for Carrie. The little girl, about 2.5 years old, was so sweet. Her mom told me that lately she's been asking about “Mary's baby.” (The mom didn't know what she was talking about.) Then the little girl said, “Mary's baby can't get out of bed, Mary's baby can't eat.” (She is VERY sweet.) They had been here for lunch one Sunday early in the summer and Liz remembered meeting Carrie.
Liz kept asking about Carrie, so she and her mom came over to pray for her. We had Carrie in the wheelchair, and she was so tight, and pulled on the head strap so much and her eye just does its own thing, and she coughed and choked a lot. We tried to act calm, but I'm sure it was a little startling for little Liz. I don't know what else to do . I know we need to wait on God and be patient and keep trusting. But ....
So I know all about discouragement being a tool of the enemy. And knowing that, I will try to keep working on increasing my faith. I am tired, though.
People pray for us that God would increase our faith by showing us something concrete as far as progress. It just hasn't happened. So I have to try not to get cynical. I pray and pray. I know God is with us. We could not go through this otherwise.
The other kids are fine. Anna is being a nurse aide for Carrie this summer, and even takes a couple of shifts by herself. We never realized what a competent, compassionate caregiver she could be. We are so thankful.
Sam and Joe are at church camp this week. John has his driver's license. Laura is a sweet 14 year old. Luke is working on a railroad in Colorado for the summer. Lil and Chad are looking at buying their first house.
And I am now a business owner.
Thank you so much for your prayers and notes of encouragement. It just means the world to us.
Den and I love and appreciate you!
Love, Mary