My twin daughters were the type of youngsters that did things over and over and over again even after being punished.
My son has never been that type of kid. He threw something off of his high chair, I told him no, and he never did it again. He ran out into the street one time when he was around 2. I picked him up, told him no, and took him inside. It never happened again. He had a tantrum at Toys R Us one time, I left before we bought anything. It never happened again.
My darling twin daughters were not like that. They ran into the street tons of times before they finally stopped when they were around 5. They threw food off of their high chairs and started giggling at each other numerous times. They would go outside and one of them would start stripping off their clothes, and the other would follow suit and they would run down the street naked and laughing. Then there was the real problems like getting unbuckled out of carseats.
The doctor's solution was time-outs, and I was doing it wrong if they weren't behaving. A psychologist recommended medication.
I ignored both of their recommendations. I didn't spank because when I tried it, it just made the situation worse. However, we did leave parks, sit in parked cars, made them walk home when they were fighting in a car (me following closely behind), and me just always trying to stay on top of my wild twins.
Finally, they started behaving. In fact, my wildest daughter got awarded at school for never getting in trouble at school for a whole year in 2nd grade.
I think some kids are just wild, and it takes a lot of time and patience to raise them into nice adults. My work isn't done because my kids are only 10 & 12.
It's not an unruly 3 year old I worry about. It's a wild 18 year old that I worry about.
These threads are so depressing. My Dad did the "he just needs to be spanked more" thing with my son for YEARS. I could have spanked him all day long, and it wouldn't help at all. The only thing he has ever been afraid of is a cold shower. Turns out he's bipolar. (Now they will start shredding me for that, of course)
My middle daughter was a head banger. I tried EVERYTHING to get her to stop. She just had to grow out of it.
I wish some of these arrogant people could spend one day with a truly difficult child.
Obviously the unruly 18 year old is definately more of a danger to himself and others than the unruly 3 year old... And yes, some very well behaved kids do somehow fall on the wrong path no matter what the parents do, and wind up problem teenagers.
By and large though the unruly 18 year olds were unruly long before they got that far along. I know a gal right now who's teenage daughter is running wild, fortunately no drugs or sex or things of that nature yet, but shows the mother next to zero respect, and the mother demands little if any. Worried about having her daughter "mad" at her so much she refuses to actually parent her.
Time outs in my oppinion are a minor punishment good for perhaps a minor infraction where self reflection is needed. For most kids they aren't much use, some children making them sit still can be enough deterrent to produce results, but not most. Some kids spanking doesn't do a whole lot either, but they are the minority. I think parents who just refuse to spank ever do no favors to anyone.
Spanking is not something that should be done often, and frankly my experience has been, when used appropriately at a young age, you usually don't have to do it much at all after they get older. The fear of the paddle is far more motivation than the actual use of it.
No doubt all children are different, but for a 3 year old who can communicate to be so damned unruly that she can't/won't stay in her seat so a plane can take off, and is throwing a tantrum so bad it is hindering 100s of other folks around her... that is inexcusable. These parents should not be upset they were removed from the plane.. 100 other people had places to be and the plane could not take off because this child would not sit in its seat for takeoff as is required by FAA regulations.
IT is not the Airlines job to cajole your unruly child. Sorry, but I lay this one clearly on the parents.... its clear from their reaction to all this that poor little susie or whatever has been pandered too and her parents have a bit of entitlement mindset as well.