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Adults forget how deeply young people feel shame. They also don't have the perspective to realize that everyone messes up sometimes, so they feel like they're beyond redemption. Many of us might be able to relate feelings of shame for our youthful behavior. I'm just talking about normal youthful rebellion- not abuse. I remember feeling like my parents would hate me if they know the "real me."

Now, I realize that I probably did the same kind of stuff they did when they were young and they would have loved me just the same. I tell my kids I'd love them no matter what and I understand they make mistakes, like we all do. That does help keep lines of communication open. You just have to also let them see you strive to constantly improve your own flawed personality and they'll try to do the same.

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