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From Clay Travis's article on CBS Sportsline--funny stuff.

But back to my contention that all football fans are either Brady guys or Manning guys. I've come up with a highly scientific outline to define what camp fans are likely in, via 10 characteristics that define each fan base. Here goes:

Brady's fans
1. Tend to live on either coast with a sprinkling of Ann Arbor fans from Brady's days at Michigan. Think about this: Can you really see Brady playing for Jacksonville or Tennessee or Kansas City? Neither can I. Brady is definitely a bicoastal guy. So are his fans.

2. Lots of women. They love the idea that he's such a metrosexual pretty boy who likes to wear turtle necks, get manicures and doubtlessly sleeps with one of those silk eye masks.

3. Guys who wear cologne and have ice-skated before.

4. Latte drinkers. Just try and picture a Manning fan sitting down with a cup of coffee in a trendy coffeehouse. You can't, can you? In fact, most Manning fans couldn't even pronounce or spell latte.

5. Like Enya. Is there any other football player whose fans are more likely to sing along when Only Time comes on? The answer is no.

6. Would ironically wear a cowboy hat.

7. Are convinced that Manning is an over-hyped choke artist and whiner who constantly blames his teammates whenever he loses, has never won any big game of note, and only gets attention because of his family name.

8. Rollerblade ... possibly in spandex.

9. Hate every moment of Peyton Manning's innumerable television commercials and wonder how a rich kid who was the overall No. 1 draft pick, with an All-Pro quarterback as a father, has somehow been embraced as a man of the people.

10. Pay more than $10 for a haircut. You could open a hairstyle magazine and point to any Brady fan's coif. In fact, Brady fans even know what the word coif means.

Manning's fans
1. By and large are Southern. Where I live, in the state of Tennessee, Peyton Manning could still be elected to any statewide office. Probably without campaigning. And while there are still SEC fans who hate Manning because he regularly beat their teams, there are many more who are fans of the Manning family. In general, the southland is Manning country.

2. Not very many women. I asked my friend Katy who she rooted for. Her first question was, "What is Tom Brady going to be wearing, a uniform or a towel?" Guess who she picked.

3. Guys who wear mud-encrusted boots and T-shirts. I spent the day on a construction yard in northern Kentucky recently. Just to see, I asked the crew during lunch who they rooted for, Brady or Manning. To a man they all picked Manning. Other than construction crews in New England, I think this trend would continue. For whatever reason, Manning has more common-man appeal.

4. Have killed something in the past month. Hunters are Manning people. I don't know why this is, they just are.

5. Walk or run awkwardly. Brady seems effortless when he plays football. Manning makes football look like it hurts. He sort of stands with his hands downcast and always hanging mid-chest (it's like Montgomery Burns meets the NFL). He twitches and gesticulates and always looks like his chest and ribs are perpetually two feet in front of his head. Add in the fact that his shoulders and feet are never still and Manning looks like the first-grader whose parents just took him off Ritalin. At no point on the field does he look comfortable. Not even in the moments immediately after he throws touchdown passes.

6. Would wear cowboy hats without irony.

7. Believe Tom Brady is only three plays away from never having won a single Super Bowl and is the overrated creation of a media hype machine that demands an heir to Joe Montana.

8. Pay less than $10 for a haircut. This means Manning's fans are often without sideburns, occasionally model awkward bowl cuts, or are subject to other hairstyle maulings. If you don't believe me, just pause the television at any moment when the crowd is shown in Indianapolis this weekend. There will be a bevy of hairstyles on the men ... almost all bad.

9. Are certain that if Manning were in Brady's place, he would have done even better. The general feeling is that Brady's an OK quarterback, but has always had the better team.

10. Would never stand in line for a bar or club. Once inside their chosen establishment, if you can't throw peanut shells on the floor they immediately leave.

Honestly, if you're bored right now at work, write down the names of each of your friends and assign them to the Brady or Manning camp. Then check your hypotheses to see whether or not you're correct.