[surrey]

We just went through this with my FIL. Within the year, he went from an Independent Living facility ,in Georgia, to Assisted Living to a Nursing Home here in MA. With each move the cost increased. At the Nursing Home they determined he was not on a road to recovery so Medicare stopped.
He has a house on Long Island worth about $500,000 but it won't sell. It's his only asset. We learned that if he applies for Medicaid they will determine when we need to reduce the price and by how much. We decided to foot the bill ourselves but he died in Nov.
Now my 89 year old Mom has decided she wants to leave her home and go into an Assisted Living facility. She can well afford it but is reluctant because she wants her grandchildren to inherit her estate. She refuses to live with us so she changes her mind every day.

[dawn53]

Now my 89 year old Mom has decided she wants to leave her home and go into an Assisted Living facility. She can well afford it but is reluctant because she wants her grandchildren to inherit her estate. She refuses to live with us so she changes her mind every day

We contacted an Elder Affairs Attorney and he was very helpful in determining what kind of financial arrangements could/should be made, making sure we had proper advance directives, Health Care Surrogate, and POA documentation. His advice was well worth the money we paid him.

[GeorgefromGeorgia]

I have been through caring for my Mother-in-Law(Altheimers-now deceased) and Mother(in assisted living). The relationship reverses, and you become like the parent caring for the child. Elderly parents don't always adjust to that change. Just when I think that my Wife and I have been through the ropes with our parents, I hear about cases that are even worse. I have a friend who's Mom has been in a nursing home, virtually in a coma for 8 years. They don't want to pull the plug. I don't understand why. Her life is over. I guess that I should be grateful that I don't have to make that decision. It does pay to have a living will.