This might be the crux for both sexes. The single guys I know mostly look at church, at work, in political and professional associations, neigbors, and the associates of those above. They do not look at parties, at bars, etc because they know that they lack a life-of-the-party personality and do not come accross well at parties.
Most women I know do not look at co-workers, or church, or professional associations. They go to parties and dances and are attracted to the life-of-the-party, who is usually an irresponsible drunk.
Spot on. Welcome to my life.
The thing that kills me about these threads are the constant insinuations that anyone who is "fun" is by extension irresponsible and no good. Not only are boring people held up as virtuous, but people who aren't boring are actually looked down upon.
I AM the social type, and always was. Perhaps it's why I'm a good salesman. However, just because I was at ease in party situtations and presented myself well, didn't mean I was irresponsible.