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51% of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse
New York Times ^ | 16 January 2007 | Sam Roberts

Posted on 01/16/2007 10:04:04 AM PST by shrinkermd

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To: Melas
Many shy guys think that shyness is sexy to women, despite almost no actual evidence to support that idea.

You are 100% correct: no woman is going to grow attracted to a man who is afraid to even talk to her. A fearful man just isn't sexually appealing.

Add the clincher: there really is nothing to be afraid about.
361 posted on 01/16/2007 6:47:32 PM PST by HitmanLV (Rock, Rock, Rock and Rollergames! Rockin' & Rolling, Rockin' with Rollergames!)
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To: GBA

Ah, but you're asking the wrong question. Do you think he'd find those women any more attractive if they were 20 years older if they weren't tattooed? Why is it the anti-tat nazis like to pretend that only those with tattoos age?


362 posted on 01/16/2007 6:49:06 PM PST by Melas (Offending stupid people since 1963)
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To: Melas
Yes, and a man can illustrate those masculine qualities in any number of ways. And women know that if a man is too timid to stand up for himself (with her, with others), he will never stand up for her should the situation arise. I'm not talking fisticuffs (not all men are fighters and that's fine). But guys, she has to be able to count on you.

And she knows she can't if you can't even count on yourself.
363 posted on 01/16/2007 6:50:32 PM PST by HitmanLV (Rock, Rock, Rock and Rollergames! Rockin' & Rolling, Rockin' with Rollergames!)
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To: Titan Magroyne

It's just the truth.


364 posted on 01/16/2007 6:55:14 PM PST by HitmanLV (Rock, Rock, Rock and Rollergames! Rockin' & Rolling, Rockin' with Rollergames!)
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To: Mr. Jeeves; Melas

A bit of a rough edge is a desirable trait in a man.


365 posted on 01/16/2007 6:57:08 PM PST by HitmanLV (Rock, Rock, Rock and Rollergames! Rockin' & Rolling, Rockin' with Rollergames!)
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To: HitmanLV

True. My statement began with wanting a man to have enough gumption to speak his mind to a woman, but it translates on up.


366 posted on 01/16/2007 7:33:33 PM PST by Titan Magroyne ("Y'know, I've always thought of politics as show business for ugly people." Jay Leno:Al Gore 11/29)
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To: Titan Magroyne

Yep. I honestly don't know why some men find this so confusing, complicated, or unnerving.


367 posted on 01/16/2007 7:39:27 PM PST by HitmanLV (Rock, Rock, Rock and Rollergames! Rockin' & Rolling, Rockin' with Rollergames!)
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To: HitmanLV
Aside from the points emphasized in this article with regards to women's views on marriage, and I must add, men's views also, one of the reasons marriage doesn't last as long as it did in the past is because women are less tolerant of men's bad habits.

When men fail to live up to their moral obligations and begin cheating and womanizing (just to mention a couple of bad habits,) I can't imagine today's women putting up with that kind of behavior. In the old days, women used to take it and adapt to all sort of injustices in the name of preserving the marriage. The answer tended to be "well, he's a man, and men do those things."

Today, women are less willing to take this kind of abuse, and I can't blame them. They are more savvy, are better prepared, and often have comparable - or superior - earning power as compared to their spouse. If I were to marry a cheating husband, a philander, or a sex manic who can't get enough from his wife but is in need of sex anywhere he can find it even from porno magazines, I'd be part of the 51% statistic, because there is no way on earth I'd put up with an individual like that. That's the main reason couples should spend time knowing each other well before they get married, even if that takes a long time.

Likewise, if women behave badly in the marriage, I can't imagine a man putting up with that kind of behavior either, thus divorce becomes a “quick solution” to end a bad relationship.

However, marriage is a sacrament which should be honored and respected equally by husband and wife, and it shouldn't be treated cavalierly as just another social event. It's a serious endeavor where the children often suffer the consequence of failure.

I think like in anything else, you need to know each other well, and a dose of good luck doesn't hurt, either. :-)

368 posted on 01/16/2007 7:48:02 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul
I agree. There really is no reason to put up with a poor quality spouse. The trick is to not get yourself in that position in the first place.

As you wisely say, get to know the person well. Notice how they treat other people, and other members of their family. Are they cool headed normally, or subject to frequent rash spells? How are they in a crisis - prone to blaming others, or do they just get down to business and try to solve the crisis?

Unfortunately, I think too many folks consider marriage as a form of 'advanced dating' (kudos to Dr Laura), and that's a terrible mindset to engage in. In that context, it's not surprising that people make poor choices for a life-mate, and then one or both want out when reality sets in.
369 posted on 01/16/2007 8:03:14 PM PST by HitmanLV (Rock, Rock, Rock and Rollergames! Rockin' & Rolling, Rockin' with Rollergames!)
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To: HitmanLV

I concur with you. Well said.


370 posted on 01/16/2007 8:08:44 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: bannie

Well since I dont feel Im sending a "message" by my tattoo, I guess theres nothing for me to fix.

I dont really care if folks want to judge me by it, if they do, thats there problem. Whats done is done.

its a SMALL ankle tattoo, its not like I have "satan" tattoo'd across my forhead or something.

I have found in my life anytime I have made a judgement about someone, wether it be what they wear, drive, or look like, its always been a mistake.

now its simple, i ask "conservative or liberal?" ;)

My ONLY point in my posts to riverat was that it was unfair to add all those other qualitys to someone based on a simple tattoo.

You might have missed his initial post and my original one.



371 posted on 01/16/2007 8:09:40 PM PST by OMalley (Without love, deeds, even the most brilliant, count as nothing. St. Therese, "the little flower")
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To: skippermd
who cannot find a date to save my life that will even open a door for me.

This didn't happen on a date but I had a guy purposely let go of a door on me as I was going in to a place of business. Thankfully I reached out and caught it in time before it smacked me in the face. He was laughing. It's ugly out there.

372 posted on 01/16/2007 8:15:41 PM PST by Canticle_of_Deborah (The N.O. Mass is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.)
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To: Victoria Delsoul

Infidelity is unforgiveable. JMHO. Marriage is a legal and spiritual contractual union before God and "Caesar".

That men occasionally do annoying stuff like whiskers in the bathroom sink, etc., we beg just a little indulgence.


373 posted on 01/16/2007 8:20:03 PM PST by IslandJeff (Bad karma, killing me by degree)
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To: IslandJeff

LOL! I hope I haven't given the impression that I'm a mean person, as nothing could be further from the truth. I will be more than willing to give my future husband more than a little indulgence, and in return, I expect he will do the same for me. :-)


374 posted on 01/16/2007 8:30:21 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: IslandJeff
Infidelity is unforgiveable. JMHO. Marriage is a legal and spiritual contractual union before God and "Caesar".

And potentially lethal this day in age. Think about the quality of person willing to bed down with a married person and think any manner of communicable disease. No condom can protect from many of these. The history of one you have sex with now becomes your own history. Today infidelity is much more dangerous than in years past and certainly not something God intended we live with.

375 posted on 01/16/2007 8:32:17 PM PST by Hattie
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To: Hattie

Like pickup basketball, we have to police ourselves/"call our own fouls" to a great extent. For that reason, despite organic impulses, talking to vulnerable married women 'unchaperoned' is generally not a good idea.

I believe it's in the Epistles (perhaps even a gospel or two) that to carry carnal thoughts of a woman is to be committing adultery. The thoughts, of course, are half the fun, because women are a cruel gift from God, made specifically for Man (according to Genesis). They are, simply, a treasure, to be taken care of.

My standard, though not so strict, still applies to married ladies. Even those who seek me out and are, supposedly, at the end of their relationships, waiting for the papers. Right and Wrong are just that.


376 posted on 01/16/2007 8:41:43 PM PST by IslandJeff (Bad karma, killing me by degree)
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To: Victoria Delsoul

Female indulgences are comparatively minor, stuff like misplacing dishes and buying terrible, PC food for the fridge.

It's all good.


377 posted on 01/16/2007 8:44:36 PM PST by IslandJeff (Bad karma, killing me by degree)
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To: IslandJeff
Are you watching this Tx OSU triple overtime game?

WOW!
378 posted on 01/16/2007 8:49:21 PM PST by Clint N. Suhks (If you don't love Jesus, you can go to hell.)
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To: Victoria Delsoul

What, are you posting from over my shoulder? You just described my last relationship! In retrospect it's kinda funny. You know the old Richard Pryor routine, "Who you gone believe, me or yo lyin eyes?" First time I ever wanted a guy to strike out at me so's I'd have moral license to hit back, heh.

I've never wanted a "project." I don't understand the women who do. I just a want a guy to respect & love me the same as I do him. If that doesn't happen, well ... I've seen worse than being single, LOL!


379 posted on 01/16/2007 8:51:43 PM PST by Titan Magroyne ("Y'know, I've always thought of politics as show business for ugly people." Jay Leno:Al Gore 11/29)
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To: Clint N. Suhks

Which network? I'm almost confessed-out, here.


380 posted on 01/16/2007 8:58:01 PM PST by IslandJeff (Bad karma, killing me by degree)
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