*****Was there something besides these on Powerline? I saw them a few days ago there and wasn't very impressed.*****
Schlagers!
Bill Bennett and Seth Leibsohn have named me a judge in the "Sandy Berger Lies" songwriting contest that Bill announced this morning (discussed below in "His back pages" and "Fourth of July, Asbury Park"). I must therefore avoid the appearance of impropriety and maintain strict neutrality in noting a few of the contest entries that Seth has forwarded. Here is one to be sung to the tune of the "Ballard of Jed Clampett" (the theme song of "The Beverly Hillbillies"):
Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a man named Sandy
A censured liberal lobbyist, Clinton's man for Security
Preppin' for 9/11 testimony, he was readin' some notes
And down into the ground went those bumblin' quotes
Cover-up, that is, black deeds, Washington creed
Well, the first thing you know, old Sandy's a felon
Bill and Hillary said, Sandy, don't you be tellin'
Said, our legacy is the thing you gotta protect
So he loaded up his pants, incompetence never to detect
Cover-up, that is, legacy of fools, political stars
Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Sandy and accessory
They would like to thank you for kindly droppin' scrutiny
You're all invited back again to the DC locality
To have a heapin' helpin' of their criminality
Clinton, that is, set a spell, take your shoes off
Next Dem Prez Sandy'll be back, ya hear?
I didn't think it was possible to put Barry Manilow's schlagger epic "Mandy" to good use, but this entry has turned me around with lyrics to the tune of "Mandy":
They say you are a thief
Your crime beyond belief
Stealing papers from the Man
Hiding them where you can
In your socks; underneath a truck.
Then you ran out of luck.
Oh, Sandy
You came and you took without asking
Busted for the crime
Facing some jail time
You should be sent away
Cryin' all the way
For some reason,
You commttted treason.
Oh, Sandy.
Keep your creative juices flowing, note the contest rules here and don't miss the January 12 deadline.
Posted by Scott at 09:31 PM | |
I hope this is a little better than the Mandy that was on Powerline. Obviously, with 34 songs, the themes are going to be quite repetitious.
MANDY
Music file here (choose the karaoke version)http://tinpan.fortunecity.com/myway/231/interabcd.htm
I remember all my life…I have faced a lot of strife
When I just had won that Senate fight
I thought everything was going to be all right
Now here we go, another day…documents must go away
If they were revealed, it’s my legacy
I had needed help in hiding the history
(Oh) Sandy… you marched in and then you began stealing
That’s a real gutsy play
Oh, Sandy…and once more we had right wingers reeling
They’re still flustered today…oh, Sandy
I had planned things carefully…and I set it up for Hillary
If it all came out, I’d live in fear
She would not accept, another “Sorry, dear”
One day I asked and you came through
You did what nobody else could do
There was that thing regarding bin Laden
Some people had screamed that something was rotten
Oh, Sandy… you marched in and then you began stealing
That’s a real gutsy play
Oh, Sandy…and once more we had right wingers reeling
They’re still flustered today…oh, Sandy
I proved once again that I’m resilient
Memos in your pants…now, that’s really brilliant
Oh, Sandy…you marched in and then you began stealing
That’s a real gutsy play
Oh, Sandy…and once more we had right wingers reeling
They’re still flustered today
Oh, Sandy… you marched in and then you began stealing
That’s a real gutsy play
Oh, Sandy…and once more we had right wingers reeling
They’re still flus-tered today
COMING NEXT: Out of Time
From Powerline, these are great lyrics but I don't know the tune.
January 08, 2007
Fourth of July, Asbury Park (Sandy Berger)
In my post below on Bill Bennett's Sandy Berger contest, I suggested that a takeoff on Bruce Springsteen's "Fourth of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)" might be the ticket. Seth Leibsohn advises me that Bill's listeners are one step ahead of us. One inspired listener (who advises that his version will not work to the Hollies' version of the song) has already submitted the following (slightly edited for reasons of taste):
Sandy, the Nine Eleven commission would like to speak with you tonight.
Lookin' for facts, or whatever you can sell them that will make your old boss, Bill look bright
Up in Chappaqua the Clintons, with their switchblade brothers, so fast so shiny so sharp
If you fail people say you'll be gone the next day like Vince Foster you'll be found in the park.
Cuz the boys sent by the Clintons will split you wide open while Bill shacks up in Harlem with some [girl]
Chasin' all them needy New York women by the score
Sandy, the commission is trying to find us.
You'll hang tight or we'll end your career forever.
Oh, fool them tonight or your wife may never see you again,
Hey Sandy Berger, do my bidding.
Now the archives they hold all of those papers with the notes that you just love to write
Them guards in uniforms, ah Sandy, eat donuts all night.
So you spent your whole night in them dusty archives, stuffing things into your jeans.
Hiding the papers underneath some trailer, while Bill Clinton, he had sex in Queens
You know that construction down on Constitution Ave
You broke into it that night and almost got caught?
Almost left some fingerprints there? Didn't think they'd ever wipe off.
Sandy, the commission is trying to find us.
You'll hang tight or we'll end your career forever.
Run and take care of this problem. Say, can I date your daughter?
Please remember, Sandy Berger. You're my, my, my lackey.
Sandy, some guys from Al Quaeda planned to attack New Year's Eve
Ahmed Ressam said Allah told him it's time to blow up LAX, the airport
He had a car full of explosives
Then he met Diana Dean, the girl who stopped him at the border in the snow
While those Clintonista stars drinking in their expensive DC bars
Said, We stopped him with our meetings, don't you know?
When the cops finally bust you, call Hillary. She'll pay that puny fine for you.
Think your top secret clearance is through, babe?
We'll see you get that back, too.
Sandy, the commission is trying to find us.
You'll hang tight or we'll end your career forever.
Oh, fool them tonight 'cause us Clintons, we own you forever.
Oh, I mean it Sandy Burglar. My, my, my, my, my baby
Yeah, I promise Sandy, Burglar. Sha la la la la, baby