THE SANDY MAN
Tune: "The Candy Man"
Who can take a paper
Stuff it in a shoe
Cover up the caper
With a perjury or two?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good.
Who can take a secret
Tape it to his thigh
Walk it out and sneak it
Like an undercover spy?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good.
The Sandy Man makes
Every move that takes
Classifying as suspicious
And the line of crap he dishes
You can even call fictitious.
Who can take a memo
Slip it up a sleeve
Hold it near his elbow
And say nothing when he leaves?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good.
The Sandy Man makes
Every move that takes
Classifying as suspicious
And the line of crap he dishes
You can even call fictitious.
Who can take a memo
Slip it up a sleeve
Hold it near his elbow
And say nothing when he leaves?
The Sandy Man . . .
The Sandy Man can . . .
The Sandy Man can
'Cause he takes it from the file
To make his boss look good. . . .
(SITTIN' WHERE) THE DOCUMENTS LAY
Tune: "(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay"
Sittin' in an archive room
I see written who did what about whom
Watchin' for Clinton's role
Got to keep my boss's legacy whole
I'm sittin' where the documents lay
Watchin' the guard walk away
I'll just fit 'em in my socks so they'll stay
Placed inside
I'm liftin' just a portion
Just the ones that would give Clinton grief
If I do a few more contortions
It looks like some will even fit in my briefs
I'm sittin' where the documents lay
Watchin' the guard walk away
I'll just fit 'em in my socks so they'll stay
Placed inside
Looks like nothing seems too strange
Everything still appears the same
But I still got these ten papers here left to do
So I hope my suit stands the strain
Sittin' here looking around
And these documents must weigh fifty pounds
These two thousand files I found
Tend to make my socks fall down
I'm sittin' where the documents lay
Watchin' the guard walk away
I'll just fit 'em in my socks so they'll stay
Placed inside
"IN THE ARCHIVES" (Sandy works for me)
Tune: "In the Garden" (And he walks with me)
As sung by Bill Clinton
He comes to the Archives alone
Pulls a heist right under their noses
'Cause the stuff they have
Would make me look bad
The things that it discloses
Sandy works for me
He does dirt for me
And he knows what files need to go
And the stuff he takes
Showing my mistakes
None other will ever know
He speaks and the sound of his voice
Is so sweet the guards stop their guarding
And the documents
In his socks and pants
He'll soon be out discarding
Sandy works for me
He does dirt for me
And he knows what files need to go
And the stuff he takes
Showing my mistakes
None other will ever know
I'd go to the Archives with him
But that might cause people to murmur
That's the reason why
I can now deny
I ever knew this Berger
Sandy works for me
He does dirt for me
And he knows what files need to go
And the stuff he takes
Showing my mistakes
None other will ever know
.
LOVE the Sandy Man. Roared with laughter all the way through it.