Posted on 01/12/2007 8:47:34 PM PST by doug from upland
In response to the outrageous and undercovered national security scandal involving Sandy Berger, Bill Bennett is holding a song contest to shine the light on this. Having created a few political parodies, I thought I would give it a try. I'll bring the 34 songs I did this week into this thread either one at a time or in small groups. I hope you will find something you like.
Sandy Berger Lies Contest Rules
1. Write lyrics to an already existing song, or song you write yourself, that tells the story of the Sandy Berger archives scandal. E.g., "Sandy Berger Lies" for "Bette Davis Eyes." Any song will do, or a new song you write. The winner receives $1,000.
2. The lyrics (or song if it is original) will be the property of "Bill Bennett's Morning in America" and can be used in perpetuity for the one-time contest payout of $1,000.
3. Submission must be by email.
4. Deadline for submission is January 12, winner announced January 19th, 2007.
5. Decision of the judges is final.
It really is good. Of course it seriously helps to have the recording and not just lyrics!! Whoopsie on the rules. I am sure one of yours was the runner up, no? Wonder who else's they liked!
I should have tried to sing mine, LOL. Sandy Burglar karaoke. I don't know if I could get that voice -- could I stuff my cheeks with cotton like Marlon Brando in the Godfather?
Oh, well. FWIW, here was my submission:
If I Only Had the Nerve
***
Yeah it's sad, believe me Mista'
When a man's a Clintonista
Without the vim and verve
But I could show my slickness
And be Willy's clever witness
If I only had the nerve
The archives held the mystery
For ME rewriting history
A fate I well deserved...
And my plan, it was hatching
While my socks were busy scratching
Then I finally got the nerve!
Picture me, a trailer tire
Some papers down below
"Wherefore art thou, Osama-o"
We never knew... did you?
***
Bush would soon be just a nuffin'
My pants all full of stuffin'
*His* head all full of toof'
He could stay young and chipper
and be worthy of the Gipper
but he'll never have the proof...
I'd unravel every missive
Declassify with scissors
A ding-a-derry doo...
And a mere dismeanor
Made my youth look kind of cleaner
And I owe it all to ME.
Oh I could tell you why
Kuwait is on the shore
Why Bin Laden doesn't write us any more..
But do I tell? Oh well..
***
I'm afraid there's no denial
I had a *dandy* trial
The sentence was absurd
'Cause I'm slick as a whistle
(Like the boy who shoots the missiles?
Cause his missus had a pistol?)
Cause his missus is a lady who will serve....
And I'm sure to get a fine, a home, a pardon,
Da Nerve!
I'm calling for a NEW song parody contest in which the rules about lyrics only are FOLLOWED.
Hmmmmmm.....an online petition? I think we need the sleazy attorney from the Seinfeld show. We can all end up with a lifetime supply of latte.
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