The situation is as described by Machiavelli. Once the ruler tries to begin by being beneficent the game is over and will play out only one way. Blame Skinner and the other enlightened Liberals.
It is better to be both feared and loved, but if it is a choice between the two then , it is better to be feared than loved.....
because friendships that are obtained by payments(giving a kid toys or money), and not by greatness or nobility of mind,(family rules and holding a kid to be responsible for actions) may indeed be earned, but they are not secured, and in time of need cannot be relied upon; and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.(knowing that every time they broke the rules they were punished.)
works for me and my four kids...