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TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE A GRANDMOTHER

1: You were glad when your kids moved out. Now you complain to Grandpa about how they never come to visit.

2: Your sandwiches are filled with the same kind of stuff you pour out of your cat food cans.

3: Phone conversations now take hours-and it's with a pollster.

4: When you go shopping, your cart doubles as your walker.

5: You love your grandkids for doing the same things you used to yell at their mother for doing.

6: You have a special set of teeth just for the holidays.

7: You now read books that have print the same size as that of your five-year-old grandson's.

8: You used to twist your hips. Now you get them replaced.

9: You get XM Radio-on your hearing aids.

10: You call John McCain "Kid" and offer him a cookie