Families of the condemned feel punished, too

AP via The Austin American Statesman ^ | Sunday, December 31, 2006 | Kristen Gelineau

[Paleo Conservative]

RICHMOND, Va. — The phone call Ida Reid had been fearing finally arrived on the evening of Sept. 9, 2004.

"They're going to do it," her brother said.

Her stomach churned. Her body shook. In a few hours, her brother would be dead.

The clock in the kitchen of her Charlottesville home ticked down the final minutes. Just after 9 p.m., she clutched her mother and began to cry.

In Virginia's death chamber, James Reid was receiving a lethal injection, his punishment for murdering an elderly woman.

In her kitchen, a pain Ida couldn't explain had taken over, and it felt like a punishment, too — but one she would have to endure forever, even as her brother's came to an end.

In the contentious death penalty debate, they are a group that often goes overlooked.

Family members of the condemned haven't committed the crimes that landed their loved ones on death row. But they often feel punished by a society that sometimes shuns them and by a grief that few understand.

Their unique experiences are detailed in the report "Creating More Victims: How Executions Hurt the Families Left Behind," by Murder Victims' Families for Human Rights. The anti-death penalty organization in Cambridge, Mass., is made up of families of murder victims and families of the executed.

"These are victims, too," said Susannah Sheffer, co-author of the report, which is based on interviews with 36 relatives of executed inmates across the nation. "These people exist, they are harmed, and we need to address that harm."

Since the Supreme Court reinstated capital punishment in 1976, more than 1,000 people have been executed in the United States.

"You think about the family of the person the crime was committed against, but I don't think a lot of people think about the family of the person who was executed — who are also innocent victims," said Melanie Hebert, whose uncle Spencer Goodman was executed in Texas in 2000 for the abduction and fatal beating of a Houston woman. "People think of us as kind of throwaway people."

There has been little research on the effects executions have on families of the condemned. But a few who have studied the issue agree that such families face distinct challenges.

"When somebody says, 'How did your husband die?' and you say, 'Oh, he was executed by the State of Texas,' their hand leaves you and they walk away as if you are contagious with this death penalty disease," said Christina Lawson, whose husband, David Martinez, was executed last year for the rape and murder of Kiersa Paul, a 24-year-old University of Minnesota student, on Austin's Barton Creek greenbelt in 1997.

Michael Paranzino, president of the pro-death penalty victims' rights organization Throw Away the Key, acknowledged that families of the condemned suffer. But, he added, criminals who end up in prison hurt their families, too.

And killers cause distress to the families of their victims, Paranzino added. Families deserve to see their loved ones' killers brought to justice, he said.

The report isn't meant to minimize the pain that victims' family members feel, Sheffer said. During a gathering in Texas last year organized by her group, relatives of the condemned placed two roses in a vase: one in memory of their relative and one for the victim.

"We're a victims group," Sheffer said. "The last thing we would do in a million years is downplay that original harm."

Lawson understands the devastation felt on both sides. She was 27 when her husband was executed. She was 9 when her father was murdered. Dealing with her husband's death has been far more difficult, she said.

"We could never justify why we were sad," said Lawson, 28, of New Braunfels. "How dare we feel bad for the loss of our loved one because of something he had done?"

The social stigmas relatives of the condemned face can be severe, said sociologist Susan Sharp, author of "Hidden Victims," a book that examines the effect of capital punishment on families of those facing execution. She found family members who had been threatened, lost jobs — one woman even told Sharp her pets were killed by others who blamed her for her relative's crime.

"They're seen as somehow or another collaterally guilty with people who committed the crime," Sharp said.

Hebert was taunted relentlessly by fellow classmates during her uncle's trial. Lawson had garbage thrown at her and heard someone scream, "You are going to burn in hell!" as she walked toward the Texas death house. One North Carolina woman interviewed for Sheffer's report said that upon returning to her job after her brother's execution, she discovered a note reading, "You're a murderer."

Robert Meeropol was 6 years old when his parents, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, were executed in 1953 after being convicted of conspiring to commit espionage for the Soviet Union. He has dealt with his grief by becoming an activist and serving as a voice for children of the condemned.

"This had a profound affect on my life," said Meeropol, 59, of Easthampton, Mass. "It left me with a kind of suppressed rage and anger about what happened that didn't really have an outlet."

Young people who lose a parent to execution have the additional challenge of trying to comprehend what has happened, Meeropol said.

"I knew something terribly wrong was happening, and I knew that somehow it involved my parents, and I knew that it could get worse, and I didn't really understand what it was," he said.

Post-traumatic stress disorder can also affect family members who witness their loved ones' executions. Lawson has struggled with it since her husband's execution.

The sight of handprints on windows makes her vomit, reminding her of the death chamber's print-smudged viewing window. She fainted during a trip to her children's school to drop off their lunch money; the green paint on the cafeteria walls reminded her of the walls inside the death house.

Counselors have been unable to help her, she said. Sleep remains elusive.

"I will never, ever forget the way it felt," she said.

For Reid, grief remains intense. Talking about her brother's final hours still brings her to tears.

"Jimmy's death is still so raw; it's still very, very raw," she said softly. "I don't know when it will pass. Or if it ever will."

[xJones]

"These are victims, too," said Susannah Sheffer, co-author of the report, which is based on interviews with 36 relatives of executed inmates across the nation. "These people exist, they are harmed, and we need to address that harm."

These people STILL exist, they're not dead unlike their loved ones' victims. We could begin to address that harm by having them listen to the pain, the harm, that was done to the families of the innocent murdered victims - as if they would care about that.

[K. Anderson]

While I am a firm believer in capital punishment, I also know that the families of inmates are victims themselves...not of the state, but of their law-breaking relative. I work with the children of inmates, some as young as four and others as old as seventeen. Most live in poverty...daddy is in prison, not at work. As if the emotional roller coaster of being a teenager is not enough, they have the additional burden of shame, guilt, and embarassment. Many are ostracized at school due to the stigma of having an incarcerated parent. These children suffer daily, and I would never dream of telling them to suck it up and get over it. Regardless of one's feelings on crime and punishment, it needs to be recognized that there are other victims of a criminal's actions aside from the obvious. That their victimization stems from their relation to the inmate does not make it any less real or any less painful.

[Kimmers]

Thank you for that voice of reason.

I work in as a middle school nurse and we had to mother a child that was being raised by the grandparents and dad was in jail in one state and mom was incarcerated locally.

I am fortunate enough to be employed in a school system that this case is pretty rare but when it comes up they do everything in their power to help these kids.

[RedRover]

"These are victims, too," said Susannah Sheffer, co-author of the report...."These people exist, they are harmed, and we need to address that harm."

LOL! That's one for the "liberals say the darnedest things" file.

[montag813]

"Creating More Victims: How Executions Hurt the Families Left Behind," by Murder Victims' Families for Human Rights

Don't you just love these Orwellian titles that the enemy left comes up with? I am waiting for the "Military Families for the War Crimes Prosecution of American Soldiers"

[pinz-n-needlez]

From the Where Are They Now? file....

~"These are victims, too," said Susannah Sheffer, co-author of the report, which is based on interviews with 36 relatives of executed inmates across the nation. "These people exist, they are harmed, and we need to address that harm."~

Happy New Year!

[BunnySlippers]

They can forever remember their family member who inflicted the pain on them.

[Hildy]

The great Utopian dream...NOBODY FEELS ANY PAIN IN THEIR LIVES. What a crock.

[Grizzled Bear]

A sane person wouldn't admit that they married a serial rapist and murderer. Only someone looking for some sick, twisted form of notoriety would. They would quietly put that behind them and move on.
__________________________________________________________
What do you think of the nutcases who marry death row inmates after they are sentenced? IIRC most are European.

Also; If her husband wasn't executed but got life in prison she would be whining about people shunning her due to her husband's imprisonment. She would be speaking out about him being incarcerated.

[Charles H. (The_r0nin)]

I'd need to know more about the "cases" selected here in order to have too much compassion. For example, there was a recent case where the wife of the accused rapist provided a false alibi for him (that was pretty quickly disproven). If a spouse looks the other way (I mean, how do you not know your husband is a serial rapist????) or even tries to help the criminal, then yes, they should be treated as a pariah...

[ADemocratNoMore]

> "When somebody says, 'How did your husband die?' and you say, 'Oh, he was executed by the State of Texas,' their hand leaves you and they walk away as if you are contagious with this death penalty disease," said Christina Lawson, whose husband, David Martinez, was executed last year for the rape and murder of Kiersa Paul, a 24-year-old University of Minnesota student, on Austin's Barton Creek greenbelt in 1997.

"When somebody says, 'How did your husband die?' and you say, 'Oh, he was executed by the State of Iraq,' their hand leaves you and they walk away as if you are contagious with this death penalty disease," said Sajida Hussein, whose husband, Saddam, was executed last week for the rapes, tortures and murders of hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians. On the brighter side of things, Saddam now gets to spend quality time with his sons Uday and Qusay, who were permanently transfered to Hell some time ago. They could not be reached for comment.

[freekitty]

So society is suppose to let murderers live their lives out?

[kalee]

I'm sorry for them. I realize it must be horrid to believe that someone you know and love could commit a crime as awful as murder or rape, but justice demands some type of reparation and the death penalty is allowed in this country. The family members need to place the blame where it lies with their family member who committed the crime that led to his/her execution.