Posted on 12/18/2006 6:44:16 AM PST by shrinkermd
Good luck to your son. I was involved in early studies on ADHD, but never was given meds.
Apparently physically beating your children into submission is GOOD parenting. /sarc
Thank you. No one has mentioned ADD where my son is concerned, but coming from an education background I fear it's lurking. It may just be my paranoia. I take solace in the fact that he's being a BOY and there are ways that I can help him without making him be anything other than who he is.
Too many people want children to sit down and shut up.
I don't think that anyone is saying corporal punishment is never acceptable. I just think that using it because a kid has trouble focusing is misguided.
And if he doesn't?
THEN what?
I reckon if you beat him to death, then you've "solved" your problem.
If a child truly has ADD/ADHD (and it DOES exist), then spanking may solve the problem for the moment. Then you'll just have to do it all over again tomorrow.
That's very interesting. Teaching can be a very challenging profession if done correctly. It really means understanding your students and finding ways of opening your subject matter in a way that each person can understand. It's not easy, but tremendously rewarding when done well. And successful, like your experience shows. Congratulations.
I agree. And that's most unfortunate.
I find having my children look at me when I am speaking is a much better way to make sure they are listening. If they are not looking at me, I tell them to look at mommy's eyes. I used this on my students when I taught as well. If I want to make sure they listened, I have them repeat it. No belt or slapping is needed. I feel bad for your spouse and children.
I'll bet that's true in many cases. I was deadset against meds, and tried every possible alternative for over a year. Special diets, eliminating dairy, sugar free, whatever anyone suggested to avoid meds. After about 15 months, we started on the lowest dose we could formy daughter, and got near instant imrovement. They pretty much saved her life.
It was not a bad parenting issue, I am and always have been a fairly strict dad.
Spanking is often appropriate.
But it just as often does not work with a child who has ADD/ADHD.
My daughter is grown with a very good job and married to a man that is in a doctoral program.
My parents used corporal punishment on me and I needed it. I speak from that knowledge. If the state in the 1950's had removed every child from the home because he was spanked, we would be speaking Russian right now or a real civil war would still be ongoing.
None, officially, however, when those who really don't have a problem (SOME DO!) and instead of being disciplined are given drugs and the drugs become the fall "guy" then you have the drugs becoming the FIX of the future. I'm no expert, and I don't play one here, either. BUT, I can comment based upon my knowledge, experience and study, just like anyone else, right?
You're right. As a parent you can become so desperate to fix your child's problem. It's easy to see why parents think that because this expert or that expert says "take this pill" it will solve everything. That's where parents need to step and and say there has to be another way. Rule out all other options before going that route. As I said, there are children that need medication...I'm not going to judge a parent on that.
As a mother of two boys I know firsthand how DIFFERENT they are! LOL
I say "look at my eyes" too...and get to their level physically. That way I KNOW they're paying attention. They're only six and three for goodness sake! It's up to me to teach them!
Excellent question, and it indicates your lack of understanding on ADD/ADHD. I see nothing wrong with a swat to bring a misbehaving kid back into line, but ADHD is a medical/neurological condition that you will never beat out of a kid, no matter how hard your smash them. Just like you will never beat downs syndrome out of a kid. It's there, it's part of who they are.
I have a 17yo daughter the same way. I tried 3 different schools when she was younger and none of them could teach her without complaining about her energy level despite the fact that she did not disrupt the classroom and was in fact academically way ahead of them all - she'd just pull out a book and start reading quietly while she was waiting for the rest of the class to catch up. For that she was labeled distractible and they wanted her on Ritalin in the worst way. Being diagnosed ADHD meant, in that school, that she'd have to spend time in the special ed room with kids whose IQs were nowhere near hers, and since it would also make her unable to qualify for gifted classes, I of course refused, whereupon I had to fight to get them to keep her in the gifted/talented classes without the drugs. Idiots. She'd come home crying every day, and refuse to go to school in the morning, because the teachers and administrators would harass her about her "distractibility". Can you imagine a school telling a child it's bad when they want to read a book, especially when many of the rest in the class were barely functional readers ?
Since I am not a fan of drugs and was fed up with the negativity and worried about the effects all this had on the kid, I started homeschooling her and she has thrived ever since. Much less stressful for me, too :) She'll graduate this year and already has a dream job lined up - she says she'll do that until she feels like she wants to go on to college.
I grew up hearing THAT a lot.....and I'm a "girl."
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