Posted on 12/18/2006 6:44:16 AM PST by shrinkermd
"I'm terrible with calculations, but wouldn't that work out according to the bell curve? I mean, you'd have a natural distribution of people in the middle, say 50%, then 25% at the top and 25% at the bottom. It's like a boss freaking out that 2/5ths of the sick days taken are on Mondays or Fridays. Of course they would be."
Very funny.
Glad there aren't any other humans in the house right now. The dogs are all looking at me like I'm crazy/ sitting here laughing like a loon.
I don't know why they get so bent out of shape-it all gets done eventually-if not today, there's always tomorrow!
Drives everyone around me up the wall! It's also why I can keep track of which bills need to be paid when at home and work, why I can remember where something no one's seen in years is, and why I can answer the phone, ring someone up on the cash register, and write a charge ticket at the same time. My family takes it for granted that I can do so many things at once. They have no idea about life in the real world!
"It's a shame you are so ignorant on the subject. I'm sorry, but you are dead wrong."
I don't have a child with ADD, but right now we are trying to figure out what is wrong with my 5 yr. old now.
So far the testing is pointing to a "central processing disorder."
We haven't had to deal with the issue of meds as apparantly this problem can be addressed with therapy.
He is one of 7 children...all of whom have been "parented" the same way - and yet is VERY different from his siblings.
Those who want to chalk many of these problems solely to "bad parenting" have definitely NOT walked in these parents' shoes.
Yes, I have seen that first hand.
jw
My oldest boy was an ADD handful, but his younger bro drove me to distraction. He didn't sleep four hours out of 24 until he was over two years old-that in half hour increments- and Houdini in his wildest dreams was never as good as my son. There wasn't anything he couldn't get out of. We had a dimestore parakeet that repeated endlessly-Close the frig-close the door-and then he screamed my son's name in the exact tone I used. This started when my son was about 6 months old. It got to the point that I left a sippy cup of milk in the frig and a bowl of cereal on the table. I can laugh about it now, but he very nearly killed me. ADD manifests different ways in different kids. Shrug.
I understand where you're coming from, because there is a difference between being unable to do something and unwilling to do something. However, some of your examples, to me at least, have been too straightforward and don't really demonstrate the problem in an effective way.
For example, when my son was about 7 or 8 we were heading off to a scout meeting. He loved scouts. It was interesting and fun, so his motivation was positive towards going. However, what happened that night shed some light on his distractibility.
I was helping him put on his shirt and had one arm already through one sleeve. The phone rang and it was a call that I felt was too important to not take, so I told him to finish putting his shirt on, and that I would return in a few minutes. He says happily, "OK, Mom!"
When I went back to check on him (only 2-3 minutes later, tops) I found him topless playing with the neckerchief and his shirt a few feet away ON HIS BED. Remember, that shirt was part of the way on already. When I asked him what had happened, he told me that his little sister had come in the room and asked him what he was doing and started admiring his neckerchief and clasp. He knew we were in a hurry so he took the bandanna from her, started looking at the emblem on it, and then completely forgot that he was supposed to finish getting ready by himself.
So was this an example of someone who was unwilling to finish the task at hand, or someone who is easily distracted? This is only one example, and I could tell you hundreds more (he's now 20). Is he ADD? I think yes, and he has been on medication for it, and but also tried to cope without it. He is currently not taking any medication for it, and is maintaining a solid B average in college. He's getting by, and is happy for the most part. Yet there are plenty of times we see his frustration when he has trouble staying on task. He remains very distractible, but is doing *his* best.
With my oldest, anything and everything was a distraction. Homework was a nightmare. We had to send the other kids outside or to Grandma's, turn the tv off, take everything off the table, make sure his chair was facing a blank wall, and sit right beside him and poke him every two seconds. It took us literally six hours to get thru what should have taken 20-30 mins amid much crying, begging, and eventually it devolved into a battle of wills with no winner.
LOL. I used to read twelve books at once, but now I'm down to more like three or four at a time. But craft projects? Chalk me down for another four or five going at once. Yes, I do wiggle a lot (always have, I swung my foot under the desk at school while doing seatwork, my only vice in the classroom). I leave the TV or the radio on while I do work, because it helps keep my mind moving, but I'm really only paying partial attention to it, and part to the thing I'm working on. I switch back and forth in my head constantly.
I have tried several medications in the past, and right now I'm using Adderall XR. None of them are perfect, and sometimes I don't feel like trying to be on top of the world's game any more. I like to use the medicine when I am not happy with my own distractibility. There are times when I am frustrated that I've gotten caught up in something that wasn't really important, and I missed doing something else that was. Like right now, for example, I should probably be working on something Christmas-related instead of FReeping.
Yes, I remember those days! Now, however, he wears headphones while he's writing a paper. Over the years we have learned a trick or two so that it isn't ALWAYS a battle. At some point, you learn to accept your strengths and weaknesses for what they are. I've learned it's better to embrace them!
How? My well behaved daughter was treated in 2nd grade for ADHD. In less than 30 days she went from being in remedial reading support group (one full year behind) to highest performing reader in the class (three full years ahead).
Her behavior was exemplary before and after medication. How would you have "guided her through" in less than 30 days when reading specialists could not do it?
My oldest boy is now 25 and does fairly well. He's outside most of the day-commercial fisherman. He'll never be able to hold down a "real" job but he is a wonderful human being. Looks after his grandparents constantly, cooks and cleans and keeps the yard mowed. That he is as happy and well adjusted as he is- is a testament to the human spirit. School did everything they could to discourage him.
Scientology forbids the use of all psychiatric drugs, and works to prevent non-Scientologists from using them as well. Scientologists are vehemently opposed to all forms of psychiatry - not just for themselves, but for everyone.http://www.scientology-lies.com/faq/teachings/medical-drugs.html
This is a great observation that makes a lot of sense. I wondered how a grandchild could spend hours wrapped up in a Gameboy and be totally oblivious to everything around him. He obviously had no problem focusing on it. I have to believe that many diagnoses of A.D.D. are actually the results of boredom; ADHD is a different matter.
In 12 years of schooling I never saw any of these symptoms among my schoolmates. But then we didn't have tv constantly bombarding us either; very few people had sets. I believe that constant exposure to tv from a very early age is the cause of many, many problems among our children.
We all get distracted at times; I believe that's part of our nature as human beings. Some days we're at the top of our game; some days we're not. Should we be medicated for that? Performance in a pill! It's a real slippery slope.
As imperfect as we are as adults, why do we expect children to be better? Isn't that part of the growing and maturing process; to learn to accomplish those unpleasant or boring tasks? Why do we expect kids to be little clones, all able to jump through the same hoops in the same way?
All kids do stupid things! It's part of being a kid. What parent has not caught him/herself asking a child "why on earth did you do that", when you know darn well what the answer is going to be- "I don't know"- and they DON'T know! They don't think it through! That comes with maturity.
Regarding your anecdote about your son and his scout shirt, I would say he was easily distracted- he did not do it on purpose. What I am saying, though, is that it is perfectly normal for a child of that age to be easily distracted- particularly a boy.
I've heard it said that Thomas Edison and Winston Churchill had ADD, based on their school experience. Seems they turned out alright; not everyone fits the standard mold, and I don't think they should be labeled as diseased because of it.
ADD is such a myth and fraud. I noticed once parents started questioning ADD, we began to see commercials about Adult ADD. It was almost as though the psych. community was putting out the message "You fight us and we'll label you as well!" It also adds a little more credibility for an adult to talk about "their ADD" than when a child does. We may come to the point when everyone will be labeled with some type of mental disability. Go to WEB MD and take the test for Adult ADD. The questions are so vague that virtually everyone would qualify.
I had heard about the Ritalin thing, I didn't know if it was true or an urban legend. How sad that America missed out on your son's service.
Not diseased-different. And in a world that values sameness and conformity over uniqueness and individuality, a great many kids fall thru the cracks. Many wonderful people have ADD-they're just very good at hiding/utilizing it.
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