I agree that lust is sinful; the words of Jesus you quoted say that very clearly. I agree that this is the standard. I think where we differ just a bit is on the definition of "lust". I believe that it is possible for me to be attracted - physically attracted - to a woman in a wholesome, non-sinful way. I also believe that it is possible to be tempted to let those thoughts take a sinful turn, and that it is possible to resist that temptation and not sin. It's also all too easy to give in and let thoughts wander where they shouldn't, and I agree that this sin shouldn't be "minimized or justified".
I'm not trying to minimize the reality or seriousness of the sin of lust. But I also believe that we men were designed to be attracted to women, and that if thoughts and actions are kept within appropriate boundaries, they are not at all sinful.
Am I making sense? I think you and I are mostly coming from the same perspective here.
absolutely same page. most men -- even Christian men -- aren't willing to speak so frankly and wisely about it. thanks a lot for your openness.