A friend and I made filled a picnic basket with goodies. We threw in a bag of potato chips, a couple of hardboiled eggs, some carrot sticks, a six pack of Coors (the loss from which took my father years to recover), and four sandwiches made from Strongheart dog food.
We hopped on our little bikes, peddled down to the school and presented our offering to the stalwart defenders of public property. We apologized because, given the lateness of the hour and the ingredients at hand, the best we could come up with was liverwurst. Nevertheless, we, at least, appreciated their safeguarding public property and hoped this meal, as inadequate as it was, would assist them in their endeavors.
I will never forget the smile on their faces as they punched a couple of holes in the beer cans with the included church key, and then gratefully wolfed down the food (pun intended).
It was a fond memory -- until I read your post and found out a person can get sued for such things.
I had a fraternity brother whose nickname was the "Squirrel." The Squirrel worked out all the time, had a fantastic physique, metabolized about 5,000 calories a day, and posssessed the greatest, most uncritical appetite my other fraterninty brothers and I had ever seen.
One summer the Squirrel atended summer school along with another brother ninknamed "Bucky." The people who make Gaines dog food had just come out with Gainesburgers for dogs. The temptation was just too much for Bucky, who cooked up a Gainesburger and offered it to the Squirrel, saying, "Hey, Squirrel, do you want a hamburger." As soon as Bucky said it, the Squirrel ate it and said how much he liked it. Bucky offered him anonther one and the Squirrel ate that one too. Then Buicky told him they were Gainesburgers.
Actually, Milkbone dog biscuits do taste fairly good.