Posted on 11/28/2006 10:11:14 AM PST by steve-b
No, no, sorry. I don't have any . . ."
Why does this always seem to be the first thing I'm asked? It takes my breath away, yet why do I feel the need to apologize for my reply? Looking vague and embarrassed, my questioner glances over my shoulder for someone else to talk to: someone with whom he or she has more in common, someone with children....
Just as some women talk of a visceral urge that propels them to have children, others speak of an equally visceral urge that propels them not to. Laurie, a transplanted southerner who teaches history in New York, began to realize at an early age that she didn't want children, as she watched wealthy mothers in Richmond hire other women to care for their children. "These people compelled to have trophy babies in certain socioeconomic echelons don't want to face the realities of raising a child." She is now infuriated by what she calls "that Mother Right" -- the assumption that everyone will make way for a woman with a stroller or a child in tow....
But almost all the women I've talked with describe feeling acutely aware of what they see as our national obsession with motherhood: "The Bump Watch" hounding Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez; "Celebrity Babies" like the elusive Suri Cruise; and "The Ultimate Hollywood Accessory: A New Baby," popularized by Brangelina. Some use the term "child-free" to differentiate those who choose not to have children from those who had been unable to have them....
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
I work in IT. In that woman's defense, you can never completely not work. Otherwise, you'd fall too far behind technology. If I were to have a kid, I might look into working from home or working part time...enough to maintain skills. But, you can't just not work if you want to be able to come back once the kids are in school.
I'm a firm believer that, stay at home mom or not, Moms need to be employable in case something catastrophic happens to the dad. But, that's another thread.
My mom and I went out to eat at a buffet type restaurant one night. Like most of those kinds of restaurants, you pay before you eat. There was a large group ahead of us--2 adults (man and woman) and a bunch of kids. The boys were all dressed in button down dress shirts. I can't remember if the girls were dressed similarly or not. Anyway, I thought it was some church youth group. Somewhere along the line between paying and sitting down, it became apparent that this was one family. We only saw the mother from the back at first but when we saw her profile, she was visibly pregnant. The kids were stepping stones. In line for the cashier a couple of the older boys were being silly, but when they sat down they were all very well behaved. We counted 11 + the one in the womb--so 12. I've never seen a family that large in person.
Yes, I am lucky to avoid work functions! My husband's employer doesn't seem to go for events that require the attendance of anyone other than the employee. He goes out to lunch with his coworkers and salespeople fairly often.
Stepping stones - yes, that's a dead giveaway. It's probably not so rare that there ARE large families, but when you see them all at once, that's what gives you a little start.
hmmm
I am a worthless human being because I have failed to use my womb.
I shall go kill myself right now.
Some people choose not to have children out of wedlock.And since I have not yet found someone to whom I could bear to hitch my wagon for the rest of my life, I cause a "burden" to others.
Someone else has to sacrifice, so you can buy Prada.
Wow.
Just, wow.
So, I gather you were rejected by a woman who did not want to bear your children and chose shoes over you?
Just great, my disclaimer was not inclusive enough and I apparently offended someone. I'm not talking about an individualized case of a women who did not have children because of some particular reason. I'm talking about a general phenomenon where many women are declining to have children, because kids annoy them, or they are expensive, or they will make them fat.
It's more of a common occurance in Europe. The result is fertility rates as low as 1.2 in parts of Europe, like Spain (about 2.1 is needed to maintain population). So what happens when the native population rapidly declines? Many bad things. I'll let you figure it out.
mmkay.
kissy
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