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"One other point is that if you really want to get far in your job, you have to put in over 40 hours a week. "

One parent could cut back on work or even work from the home if possible. I know many women who have flex schedules at work, and there are unconventional jobs that one could consider. Perhaps it would be best if society actually had both men and women slow down in their early thirties and take time for their families since most are going to be working into their seventies anyways... That's what one of the more interesting feminist scholars, Anne Rophie argues. However, this doesn't mean giving up on one's career during that time completely.

"I have 2 daughters going to school at 8:30 am, and someone has to take them.My son goes to school at 9:30am. My daughters have to be picked up at 3:00pm and my son at 3:40pm."

You have two special needs children though. Most children could take the bus to the sitter's for a few hours or if they're in middle school/ high school be trusted to stay home alone. I also know some ladies who "flex" and have earlier hours so that they can be home with their kids for dinner. This actually gives them more time with their children as the kids might go over to the sitter's house at 6:00 in the morning and sleep over there for an hour.

"After that, there is homework, and they all need some help with homework (an uneducated nanny would not be able to help). That takes until dinner time. Then it's time to get ready for bed."

I know many nannies and sitters who are educated enough to help the kids with their homework as we're talking about elementary school kids here. Moreover, just because a kid's parents work, doesn't mean that they won't be able to help them after dinner. My mom was no help at all when it came to high school level math; my dad was the one who check all my algebra and geometry homework.

"That's not to mention things like doctor's appointments, hair appointments, speech therapy twice a week, drama plays at school, field trips and school parties, open houses, sick kids, sick mom, and other school activities."

Again you have special needs children. For someone who has developmentally normal children, that many appointments aren't necessary. Additionally, I tend to think that children are over scheduled nowadays. It's better to get a child interested in a few activities than carting them around from X practice to Y practice.

"On a good day, I have about 5 hours to go to the grocery stores and run other errands, clean the house, do the laundry, pay the bills, and relax, etc. If I worked, I would never have time to relax or do things with my husband."

If you enjoy what you're doing at work, then it wouldn't be a chore. Plus, I would expect that both parents would share equally in the child rearing and other chores..

I have 1 special needs child. She doesn't do after school activities. My regular middle school so probably has more activities than she does.

There is no bus to any of my kids' school. Lots of communities do not have busing anymore. If your kids are in private school, they also do not have busing. Parents drive their kids to school.

A child needs about 10 hours of sleep at night. If they are going to a sitters at 6 they won't go back to sleep. Once kids are awake, they are awake. So they have to go to bed early. That means they need to go to bed at like 7:30pm.

I have a middle school son who is in high school algebra. Most nannies would not be able to help him in his math, and that is the area that he needs help in.

My special needs daughter has actually less appointments than a kid with allergies and/or asthma. Ashtma is very common these days, especially among kids that go to daycare. Kids with frequent ear infections go to the doctors alot. Kids with glasses go to the doctors alot.

My kids have not started braces yet. That is tons of appointments, and most every child has to go through that. Multiply that by 2 or 3 (or more), and you have a lot of appointments.

"One parent could cut back on work or even work from the home if possible..."

That's what I have said all along. However, one parent has to. It may not be the woman. It could be the man.

You don't know what kind of child you will have. You need to be financially able to handle staying at home.

I made around 60K when I quit working 10 years ago. By the time you took away the nanny, the housekeeper, the clothes, the gas, the food in order to keep me working, I just didn't make that much money. I think we figured it was around 15K a year that we actually benefitted from, and it was a ton of stress. I ended up staying home. My husband did a few extra jobs because he had the time, and it was a lot less stress.