This is a true and legitimate point. I know many women who work very hard and tell me they 'balance' personal life. I always ask for details - there are only so many hours in the day. If a person works 12 hours a day, commutes another two hours, and sleeps six hours, all that leaves is four hours a day.
I've asked many women how they 'balance' a clearly imbalanced dynamic - 12 hrs vs 4-5 hrs. What's the balance?
I've never got a satisfactory answer, just that it's a 'challenge' and that they do manage to 'balance' it.
Still sounds fishy to me. In fact, there is no real balance, only choices and sacrifices. I also ask these 'balancers' from time to time for 5 or 6 examples of when they sacrificed their family demands for a job demand. These flow freely - on the tip of their tongue. OK, now what are 5 or 6 comparable times where you sacrificed your job demands for a family demand.
Things get very quiet at that point. Didn't see that one coming.
I have no problem with men and women being honest about this dynamic. They made their choices and the consequences come - you choose your choices, you can only anticipate (or be in denial of) the consequences. We don;t get to choose consequences in many cases. I am turned off by attempts to rationalize them using a concept like 'balance' when no true balance exists.
I am sure plenty of people do execute this balance. I just haven't met many who have been able to articulate how it actually works. Absence of evidence, evidence of absence, and all that jazz.
One of my best friends has a very high-powered job and so does her husband. They have 3 kids that are very nice kids.
However, she just doesn't spend much time with her kids. She workds late most evenings. I'll call at 6pm, and she won't be home. I don't think she ever reads to them or plays games with them. Her husband does most of the cooking. She never really took them to parks. They do go on nice family trips about twice a year. The kids are in a lot more after-school activities than my kids (we can't afford them).
I don't understand why people have kids and then don't spend time with them. I understand some people choosing not to have kids.
Precisely my point.