Posted on 11/25/2006 8:14:45 AM PST by John David Powell
Who do you blame now?: The real question facing Iraqis
by John David Powell
Several years ago, a fellow proclaimed in a best-selling book that he learned in kindergarten all there is to know about life. I wonder if he had daughters, because life with daughters can teach lessons much darker than any found in kindergarten.
The news over Thanksgiving reminded me of a column I’ve wanted to write for a few months. Sectarian violence in Iraq resulted in the fiery murders of more than 200 Shiite and Sunni Muslims. A radical legislator declared that the United States was to blame for the killings and called for the withdrawal of U.S. forces or the setting of a timetable for their withdrawal.
Never mind that Shiites and Sunnis have engaged in acts of barbarism against each other (and others) since Mohammed died and winged his way to heaven They will continue to slaughter each other until one group attains total domination over the other and over their religion of peace. These murderous Muslims, along with the chronically dissatisfied, the lower achievers, and all of the other whiners of the world, find convenience in blaming someone else for their ills and for their failures.
It is easy to point a finger than to engage in introspection, to take no responsibility for one’s situation. And there are those evil individuals who know the truth, but use the tools of victimization and scapegoating to fool and to recruit their feckless followers.
Back in the days of middle school and early years of high school, my younger daughter had a problem with girls. Or more correctly, girls had a problem with my daughter. As long as she had a steady boyfriend, girls her age treated her the way any teenage girl treats another human being. In other words, with minor disrespect and minimal cattiness. Whenever she was “in play”, (without a boyfriend), however, girls once friends turned into cruel and vicious enemies wary of her every laugh and possessive of every guy deemed boyfriend material.
Life was much better here at the ranch whenever my daughter was not in play. Here is what I mean. My daughter had spent one summer afternoon between seventh and eighth grades with friends, hanging around the neighborhood boat docks. At one point, some girls in the group chased her down the street. One of them punched her a few times.
I met my daughter at the home of the girl who threw the punches, and we went inside to discuss the situation with her mother and the other girls. The meeting was not confrontational; I wanted to find out everything that happened and about the events that led up to the attack. The girl admitted punching my daughter, and, incredibly, justified her actions by blaming my daughter for taking a cell phone call from a boy that one of the other girls liked.
All the girls agreed they did not appreciate their boyfriends, or boys they wanted as boyfriends, talking with my daughter. It upset them, and it wasn’t fair that my daughter should try to take them away.
My daughter told the group she didn’t have any interests in the boy who called, nor in any of their boyfriends. In fact, she didn’t want a boyfriend at the time. She was having too much fun not worrying about whether some guy was happy.
The mother was no help. She didn’t understand why I was there, particularly because she and her husband didn’t condone violence; therefore, she found it hard to believe her daughter’s confession. She also refused to admit that whoever threw the phantom punch was wrong in doing so. In her mind, and in the minds of the other girls, my daughter brought it upon herself for taking the phone call and talking with a boy that was not her boyfriend.
Pubescent female logic is not the exclusive domain of thirteen-year-old girls.
At the time of the incident, we thought we were moving to another state because of my wife’s job. I explained that to the group, and suggested the girls and the mother listen closely to what they were saying. “We’re not to blame. She’s to blame. It’s her fault that our boyfriends want to talk with her and not to us. She needed to be taught a lesson.”
At that point, I wrote a question on a napkin, folded it, and handed it to the mother, telling her to put it away until after we moved. Then, the next time the girls have problems with their boyfriends, she was to take out the napkin and answer the question I had written:
Who do you blame now?
Sometimes the most difficult problems distill to the most simple questions. U.S. forces will leave Iraq, but the kidnappings, the beheadings, the car bombs, and the sectarian insanity will not abate. When that happens, who then will they blame?
Mundus vult decipi
John David Powell is an award-winning Internet columnist, communication professional, and contributor the Christian History Project. His email is johndavidpowell@yahoo.com
Just saying ...
They will blame us for being there to begin with.
Personal responsibility is not a characteristic of the ignorant.
Good article, John. Having had 4 children, 3 of them girls, I went through similar experiences. Unfortunately, we are dealing with those who are raised on a steady diet of blaming the oppressors. Even their Qur'an teaches that they are oppressed. We have a similar problem in our own country, thanks to people like Al Sharpton and most of the left. As long as we have leaders who fan the flames of blame in order to garnish and maintain power for themselves, we won't see the end of the problem.
They'll continue to blame the U.S., obviously. ....as is SOP in the world. ....the Muslim world in particular.
Actually, they would blame us even if we weren't there. It's galling to them that we breathe "their" air--in freedom and relative prosperity. (Prosperity eludes them because they're unwilling to do what it takes to achieve it.)
Foreign provocateurs (the CIA and the Mossad).
I spent some time in the middle east and had a chance to observe their culture and ways. They have a quasi-eastern philosophy about life, a yin and yang outlook. There must be balance in life, and when it comes to human relations there must be a winner and loser. The western concept of win-win is alien to them--how can you have two winners?! That's illogical!
" A radical legislator declared that the United States was to blame for the killings and called for the withdrawal of U.S. forces or the setting of a timetable for their withdrawal. "
At first I assumed this was a reference to Muqtada Al Sadr.
But, to our nation's detriment, it could also describe many Democrats- Murtha, Durbin , Kucinich, Kerry , etc.
Too many in fact to list.
They are a society of victims. They have no responsibility for any aspect of their lives. A pitiful way to live...
But then again, whom am me to tell he how to write?
heh heh heh
Nothing is our fault. All blame rests squarely on the teen-age girls. Brilliant.
Great article. Thanks for posting it here.
I am stunned by the way girls' behavior has deteriorated since I was in that age group. I never even heard of such a thing when I was that age -- never till this morning. How a father could keep his cool at such a time is beyond my comprehension. But the words on the napkin, they are apples of gold in frames of silver.
Are you acquainted with Twain's satire?
No, but I bet I'll love it. Please point me to it.
Mother was a Limey, Grandfather a school head master, wife is a teacher. A fellow cain't even talk hillbilly 'roun heah without you get in some kind o' trouble.
My wife says that my learning two languages (three if you count English English) when I was learning to speak doomed me to a special affection for the whole enterprise.
In situations like this, I always ask "What is the same about every screwup in your life?" The answer is "you."
Everybody endures setbacks, but when a person's whole life is one big screwup, my question above usually gets to the source of the problem.
Same thing applies to nations, IMHO.
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