Thomas Jefferson, blessed be his name, never used smile icons, sarcasm tags or other literal indication of having tongue-in-cheek in his writings, for using these would have been considered a gross insult to the reader's intelligence. Now, if he wasn't a conservative - then who was? And therefore we are to follow his example as far as it is within our powers..
I love it! Funniest thing I've read here in a long time.