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How Scientologists get married (Weird Vows)
Yahoo News and AFB ^
| 17 Nov 06
| None
Posted on 11/18/2006 1:15:37 PM PST by SkyPilot
PARIS (AFP) - The Church of Scientology provides for several kinds of wedding ceremony for its followers, but according to the most traditional the husband "may promise to provide her (his wife) with "a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat."
US actor Tom Cruise and actress Katie Holmes will provide perhaps the most high-profile Scientologists' wedding to date this weekend.
And according to unconfirmed reports in the Italian media, American Scientology leader David Miscavige will fly in from Los Angeles to preside over the event.
According to the Scientologists' book "The Background, Ministry, Ceremonies and Sermons of the Scientology Religion", there are five versions of the Scientologist wedding ceremony: traditional, informal, single ring, double ring, and concise double ring, all of varying length and formality.
Scientology's "traditional ceremony" includes such advice to the groom as "Now -----, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat.
"All caprice if you will, but still they need them."
The bride is told: "Hear well, sweet -----, for promise binds. Young men are free and may forget. Remind him that you may have necessities and follies, too."
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: 2weird; clambake; cult; fraudreligion; freaks; jokereligion; katieholmes; marriage; notareligion; phonyreligion; scientology; sickjokreligion; spotthelooney; tomcruise
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To: Sabramerican
"
My girl friend who was a friendly extravert responded and then asked if that- Scientology- was a college course?" What was extra?
No doubt the Scientolgists were interested in the extra parts.
81
posted on
11/18/2006 3:40:01 PM PST
by
BeAllYouCanBe
(Until Americans love their own children more than they love Nancy Pelosi this suicide will continue.)
To: Kitten Festival
"The kid looks fine, she just doesn't look like she's theirs."
Whenever I read anything about Tom it is always mentioned that he likes boys.
Where does this come from?
Also, any man who would leave Nicole Kidman must be really weird.
82
posted on
11/18/2006 3:43:40 PM PST
by
BeAllYouCanBe
(Until Americans love their own children more than they love Nancy Pelosi this suicide will continue.)
To: dragonblustar
Looks like that cat is a little busy at the moment... LOL!
83
posted on
11/18/2006 3:48:19 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: SkyPilot
These people are certifiable. A model of polite understatement.
I always considered them Exalted Major Grand Master Roaring Assholes, with Oak Leaf Cluster.
84
posted on
11/18/2006 3:49:19 PM PST
by
Gorzaloon
("Illegal Immigrant": The Larval form of A Democrat.)
To: SkyPilot
I can't believe ANYONE gives a royal red rat's arse!
These people are trash first order.
85
posted on
11/18/2006 3:51:18 PM PST
by
lawdude
(The dems see Wal-Mart as a bigger threat to the US than muslim terrorists)
To: hosepipe
People that believe in nothing will believe anything... You must have some bad engrams in your Operating Thetan state. We better hook you up to the E-Meter.
86
posted on
11/18/2006 3:52:22 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: SkyPilot
Hey,whats he doing with that E-Meter !!!!!!!
87
posted on
11/18/2006 3:55:06 PM PST
by
cmsgop
( Try Miracle Grow, with New and Improved Uterus Growing Power, endorsed by Cindy Sheehan)
To: SkyPilot
And seek With him best fortune
For us all?
I'm sure they do want and get a lot of their fortune. LOL!
88
posted on
11/18/2006 3:57:58 PM PST
by
NRA2BFree
(Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't!)
To: Sabramerican
I saw the Scientology storefront in Hollywood back in the 1980's. Some guy in a suit was standing out in front giving away free copies of L. Ron Hubbard's crap.
My friend asked me what Scientology was, and in a loud voice I said:
"A Cult."
The guy got pissed at me and was trying to answer my friend and was ignoring me (just like you said with your experience).
I said: "Even Time magazine has documented what a scam you are running."
That comment blew his gasket, and he said the "Church" was suing Time magazine for slander.
89
posted on
11/18/2006 3:58:34 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: Moonmad27
How can there be a "traditional" scientology wedding ceremony if the fake religion was only made up a few decades ago? Fake religions should be at least 100 years old before their ceremonies are described as "traditional."
90
posted on
11/18/2006 3:59:43 PM PST
by
TChad
To: cmsgop
Hey,whats he doing with that E-Meter !!!!!!!"That's not my bag baby!"
91
posted on
11/18/2006 4:01:01 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: eleni121
the US govt made a mistake in assigning them tax free status. The Clinton Administration did that. Big surprise, huh?
92
posted on
11/18/2006 4:02:55 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: Past Your Eyes
I heard it this way:
Do you?
Yep.
Do you?
Yep.
You are.
93
posted on
11/18/2006 4:03:19 PM PST
by
Shooter 2.5
(Vote a Straight Republican Ballot. Rid the country of dems. NRA)
To: lonestar
I can't stand Tom "Has Been" Cruise. You're not alone.
94
posted on
11/18/2006 4:03:42 PM PST
by
pray4liberty
(School District horrors: http://totallyunjust.tripod.com)
To: lastchance
95
posted on
11/18/2006 4:09:45 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: SkyPilot
This reminds me that I have to take my need to the Vet Monday.
96
posted on
11/18/2006 4:10:03 PM PST
by
armymarinemom
(My sons freed Iraqi and Afghan Honor Roll students.)
To: jdm
97
posted on
11/18/2006 4:11:33 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: COUNTrecount
"I....am a Gay-American."
98
posted on
11/18/2006 4:13:26 PM PST
by
SkyPilot
To: JRochelle
It all started when...
Mimi Rogers said he left her unsatisfied and he didnt seem into it...
To: getmeouttaPalmBeachCounty_FL
I think the sun was in her eyes.
100
posted on
11/18/2006 4:45:58 PM PST
by
Past Your Eyes
(Do what you love and the ridicule will follow.)
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