Perhaps you could fill us in on the CV of your tour guides?
Does CV mean something similar to 'qualifications'? (scratching furry stoat head in bafflement)
My understanding is that the Saint Louis Tourism Board has a rich and talented pool of Tour Guide applicants, despite the Board's dedication to high standards.
Tour Guides are expected to have a minimum of 20 felony arrests (in order to better assist tourists in any interactions with law enforcement professionals)
Multiple-stab-wound recipients are accepted at minimum, with preference given to survivors of close-range shotgun blasts (this experience assists tourists who are in any need to interact with local healthcare providers, which is typical for tourists)
Proficiency in English is discouraged, as this is viewed as being 'elitist' when interacting with the richly diversified cultural mosaic of Saint Louis. Jive, guttural street slang and grunting, incoherent 'rap-speak' is preferred as these forms of communication provide a more immersive vacation experience for the visitor.
High IQ is similarly discouraged, as this has been found to be a barrier to a cohesive, interactive vacation experience.
Local knowledge is essential, particularly in the realms of Cheap Handgun Acquisition and Illicit Drug Procurement.
This is only a partial listing of qualifications and I'm sure that others can cite additional attributes demanded of Tour Guides.