I actually knew a kid like this when I was 13. His name was Lenny. Lenny came from a wealthy family like the Edwards kid and constantly made fun of the clothes others were wearing because he claimed his was of better quality. Anyway, one day Lenny and I were walking across a patch of wet grass when he started up on his routine making fun of my "cheap" pants. The instant he got his critique out, his legs suddenly split and they slipped in opposite directions due to the wet grass. He did a perfect split on the grass which also split his pants right down the middle. An astonishing moment in which true justice was served.
ROFLMAO. That sounds like it should have been in "A Christmas Story". =)