Most Dear LA Cop,
Sun Tzu will now throw secret Pearls of Wisdom at your tired foot patrol feet.
Sun Tzu regret to inform you that you live in Liberal Mecca of People's Republic of California. And, sad to say, Liberal theology spreading rapidly from Sea to Shining Sea. As evidenced by ningcompoops on thread.
But, be of light heart, take one of the shining paths that I am about to show you.
Sun Tzu say, path number one: "You takie Fire Dept. Test." Everybody love Fire Dept.
Path number two: "Study for Federal Law Enforcement job, where you will not have to deal with mean gang member and they show you ancient self-defense secrets, such as the highly effective 'goose-neck' to the wrist.'
Finally grasshopper, come to my secret school, where you will learn the ways of Neo in 'The Matrix' and you will be able to dodge nasty bullets, pluck the weapons from your enemies goose-necked hand and replace it with the Golden crack pipe.
Once gang member have golden crack pipe he can move out of Socialist Democrat 'hood and into Socialist Democrat Politician 'hood.
Then my LA Cop friend, things will change very quickly.
Peace out. Sun Shizzle Tzu
I noticed that you suggested that I become a fireman. I don't know if you know it or not but the LA City council just settled a case for 2.7 million dollars against The LA City Fire Department because a black fireman (who called himself "The Big Dog") was given a spoonful of dog food in his spaghetti after a Volley Ball game where he continually taunted his fellow firefighters to: "Feed the Big Dog."
I fear that if I join the fire department (being a white guy and all) that if I were to be at all humorous during my down time, that I could get fired and subject my nearly bankrupt city to new lawsuits that could threaten my new career as a firefighter.
Now if, as you suggest, I learned the ways of Matrix and was able to pluck weapons from the hands of these gang members, don't you think I might accidentally cause injury to their trigger fingers and then destroy my career and further bankrupt my employer?
And what if one of the bullets bounces off my vest and accidentally ricochets back at the gang member and he gets hurt? What kind of trouble could I be in then?
And if, as you suggest, I give a gang member a crack pipe and he breaks it and cuts his lip, then couldn't I be personally liable under some kind of products liability lawsuit?
Oh great war sage, please help me.
Desperately yours,
LA Cop