Replies

Dear Michael,

we were worried there until you decided to show up. i cant speak for all conservatives, but seeing your fat face has made me very relaxed. lets looks at you bullet points and break it down shall we. assuming of course that your smarmy fat ass can actually listen for a change. yes even God gave you ears, maybe you could use them...

1. We will always respect you for your conservative beliefs. We will never, ever, call you "unpatriotic" simply because you disagree with us. In fact, we encourage you to dissent and disagree with us.

REALLY. THANKS FOR THAT. SO SINCE WE ARE ALL DUMB MAYBE YOU CAN EXPLAIN HOW 9/11 HAPPENED DURING 8 YEARS OF DEMOCRATIC PARADISE. OH WAIT, THATS RIGHT THE PRESIDENT WAS WASHING INTERNS IN A CUPBOARD. AND SINCE WE ARE SO STOOPID, MAYBE YOU CAN TELL US WHICH PART OF UNPATROTIC YOU DONT UNDERSTAND? MAYBE YOU CAN EXPLAIN IT TO THE DEAD IN THE 2 TOWERS? OR INSULTING THE PRESIDENT, I GUESS THATS OKAY BECAUSE KOS SAID IT IS. NOT BIG ON DIFFERENING OPINIONS ARE YOU?

2. We will let you marry whomever you want, even when some of us consider your behavior to be "different" or "immoral." Who you marry is none of our business. Love and be in love -- it's a wonderful gift.

REALLY, AGAIN THANKS FOR THAT CLARIFICATION. DOES THIS MEAN YOU ARE SUPPORTING PAEDOPHILES? DO YOU CONSIDER THEIR BEHAVIOUR DIFFERENT? OBVIOUSLY US DUMB INGRATES ONLY DO THAT.

3. We will not spend your grandchildren's money on our personal whims or to enrich our friends. It's your checkbook, too, and we will balance it for you.

THANKS FOR THAT...WE WILL COME BACK TO THIS ISSUE LATER ON IN POINT 5...I THINK THERE IS A SMALL HOLE IN YOUR PAYMENTS SCHEDULE. HAVE YOU REALISED WE ARE IN A BOOM? BUT AS I SAY LETS HOLD THIS FINANCIAL WISDOM FOR A MOMENT...

4. When we soon bring our sons and daughters home from Iraq, we will bring your sons and daughters home, too. They deserve to live. We promise never to send your kids off to war based on either a mistake or a lie.

GREAT. COS I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM TRACK SNIPERS AND IED'S IN YOUR HOME TOWN. NOT BIG ON HISTORY ARE YOU? DO YOU REMEMBER SOMETHIGN CALLED WW2? YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD OF IT OR WERE YOU EATING AT THE TIME. AS I RECALL YOUR PREDECESSORS ALSO MARCHED WITH SLOGANS 'NO BLOOD FOR STANDARD OIL' in 1936. WRONG THEN, WRONG NOW..BUT WHO ARE WE TO SUGGEST THAT FIGHTING FASCISM AND COMMUNISM IS A GOOD THING. YOU KNOW SO MUCH MORE!

5. When we make America the last Western democracy to have universal health coverage, and all Americans are able to get help when they fall ill, we promise that you, too, will be able to see a doctor, regardless of your ability to pay. And when stem cell research delivers treatments and cures for diseases that affect you and your loved ones, we'll make sure those advances are available to you and your family, too.

WELL WELL WELL. I SEE, IS THIS THE SAME HEALTH CARE SYSTEMS THAT DONT WORK ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE PLANET AND ARE BANKRUPTING EUROPE?. OH AND FINALLY HOW DO YOU PLAN TO PAY FOR THIS? NOW LETS LOOKS AT THE POINT ABOUT SPENDING YOUR GRANDCHILDRENS MONEY. THIS IS WHAT EVERY OTHER WESTERN DEMOCRACY DOES WITH THEIR FAILED HEALTHCARE, ONES WHERE THE GOVERNMENT DECIDE WHAT YOU CAN TAKE TO CURE YOUR ILLS --DEPENDING ON THE MONEY AVAILABLE OF COURSE. IT DOESNT WORK THERE, IT WONT WORK IN THE STATES. ALL THESE OTHER DEMOCRACIES ARE THE ONES WITH FAILING POPULATIONS BECAUSE OF THE COST? OH I SEE< WE WONT HAVE ANY GRANDCHILDREN!! HOW SLOW OF ME!

6. Even though you have opposed environmental regulation, when we clean up our air and water, we, the Democratic majority, will let you, too, breathe the cleaner air and drink the purer water.

LIKE CLINTOON DID I SUPPOSE? SORRY DID THE FAKE GLOBAL WARMING START 6 YEARS AGO? PERHAPS YOU CAN CLARIFY TO THE ENTIRE PLANET HOW YOU PLAN TO PAY FOR THIS SINCE ALL OF US THE WORLD OVER ARE TOO DUMB TO UNDERSTAND? WOULD IT BE BASED ON THE STUFF BUSH HAS DONE?

7. Should a mass murderer ever kill 3,000 people on our soil, we will devote every single resource to tracking him down and bringing him to justice. Immediately. We will protect you.

LIKE SOMALIA? OH AND THE FIRST TRADE CENTRE BOMBING? OR DOES IT HAVE TO BE IN THE '000 BEFORE YOU REACT? YOU SEE MICHAEL, AND I DONT WANT TO EMBARASS YOU, BUT THATS WHY WE ARE IN AFGHANISTAN...PERHAPS YOU COULD GET TERRORISTS TO APPEAR IN THE US WITH YOUR WONDERFUL WIT AND MORONIC MILITARY WISDOM. OF COURSE WE COULD ALSO LOOK AS TO WHY BIN LADEN WAS ALLOWED TO LIVE DURING 8 YEARS OF CLINTOON AND CLINTOONS RAPE OF THE CIA? DOES THAT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT?

8. We will never stick our nose in your bedroom or your womb. What you do there as consenting adults is your business. We will continue to count your age from the moment you were born, not the moment you were conceived.

CAN WE SHIP THE BABY FEET TO YOU? HOW ABOUT ALL THE BODY PARTS SUCKED OUT UNDER PRESSURE? HOW ABOUT THAT? OR THE PARIAL BIRTH ABORTION REMAINS. I CANNOT SEE WHY YOU WOULD BE BOTHERED AFTER ALL...THEY ARE NOT REAL...ARE THEY?

9. We will not take away your hunting guns. If you need an automatic weapon or a handgun to kill a bird or a deer, then you really aren't much of a hunter and you should, perhaps, pick up another sport. We will make our streets and schools as free as we can from these weapons and we will protect your children just as we would protect ours.

PERHAPS YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ THE CONSTITUTION AGAIN. YOU DONT APPEAR TO HAVE GRAPSED IT VERY WELL..YOU KNOW THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS...DOES THAT RING A BELL?

10. When we raise the minimum wage, we will pay you -- and your employees -- that new wage, too. When women are finally paid what men make, we will pay conservative women that wage, too.

YOU MEAN LIKE GERMANY AND FRANCE WHERE COMPANIES WONT HIRE PEOPLE BECAUSE IT COSTS TOO MUCH AND THEIR UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS 15% AND THEIR TAX RATE ABOVE 50% TO PAY FOR IT? YOU SEE HERE IS A FACT MICHAEL, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH, ALTHO IT LOOKS AS IF YOU HAVE NOT FULLY REALISED THAT...SOMEONE WILL PAY, AND THEY ARE CALLED TAXPAYERS...

11. We will respect your religious beliefs, even when you don't put those beliefs into practice. In fact, we will actively seek to promote your most radical religious beliefs ("Blessed are the poor," "Blessed are the peacemakers," "Love your enemies," "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."). We will let people in other countries know that God doesn't just bless America, he blesses everyone. We will discourage religious intolerance and fanaticism -- starting with the fanaticism here at home, thus setting a good example for the rest of the world.

DID YOU READ THAT IN THE BOOK 'UNDERSTANDING THE BIBLE FOR 2 YEAR OLDS'. I ASSUME ALL OF THE ABOVE DOESNT APPLY TO ABORTED BABIES? AS I RECALL YOU ARE RICH? AND QUITE FRANKLY I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOUR FAT ASS FITTING THRU A NEEDLE, MIND IF I GO FIRST? I DONT SEE CONSERVATIVES, OH, I DONT KNOW, CUTTING OFF YOUR HEAD AND POSTING IT ON YOUTUBE? YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE IS WE WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR FAT ASS, WHAT A PITY YOU WONT RETURN THE FAVOUR. JUST A SHORT NOTE, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET WHO WANT TO KILL YOU, AND IT AINT US. THEY WANT TO DRAG YOUR BODY DOWN THE STREET. THE REASON YOU DONT KNOW THIS IS BEACAUSE 150,000 US TROOPS HAVE MADE IT SO....THE VERY PEOPLE YOU HATE SO MUCH. YOU KNOW WHAT IS SO SAD, THEY LOVE YOU AND WILL DIE FOR YOU, YES EVEN YOU MICHAEL, TO AIR THESE STUPID ILLOGICAL OPINIONS...ALL THEY ASK FOR IS SUPPORT..SOMETHING YOU DONT GIVE. MAYBE YOU NEED TO READ THE BIBLE A BIT MORE...

12. We will not tolerate politicians who are corrupt and who are bought and paid for by the rich. We will go after any elected leader who puts him or herself ahead of the people. And we promise you we will go after the corrupt politicians on our side FIRST. If we fail to do this, we need you to call us on it. Simply because we are in power does not give us the right to turn our heads the other way when our party goes astray. Please perform this important duty as the loyal opposition.

HMM, THATS GOOD TO KNOW. YOU MEAN LIKE THE LAST 6 YEARS? DOES ENRON RING A BELL IN THE CAVERN OF A HEAD? STILL, MAYBE PELOSI CAN BRING THE WINE WHERE UNIONS ARE BANNED-- GOTTA LOVE THOSE SOCIALISTS AND THEIR VIEW' WHATS YOURS IS MINE AND WHAT IS MINE IS MY OWN'. AND THOSE BILLIONAIRE BACKERS, EH, SO GOOD OF THEM TO DO IT FOR FREE ISNT IT? AND MAYBE CLINTOON CAN SHOW US HIS UNIQUE HAND SHUFFLE AND CIGAR SKILLS?

I promise all of the above to you because this is your country, too. You are every bit as American as we are. We are all in this together. We sink or swim as one. Thank you for your years of service to this country and for giving us the opportunity to see if we can make things a bit better for our 300 million fellow Americans -- and for the rest of the world.

FEEL FREE TO SINK...THATS YOUR RIGHT. NO PROBLEM ON THE SERVICE, WE ARE STANDING BY TO FIX YOUR MULTIPLE SCREW UPS IN 2 YEARS...YOU BETTER HOPE THOSE BIG PLANS THAT YOU HAVE NOT SHARED ANY DETAIL COME OFF...WE ARE WATCHING.
AS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER, HISTORY (REMEMBER THE THING YOU NEVER READ) TELLS US OTHERWISE. UNLESS YOU VIEW CARTER,CLINTON A SUCCESS. CARTER LETTING 11 COUNTRIES FALL TO COMMUNISM,AND CLINTON MISSING BIN LADEN. STILL THATS THE PROBLEMS WITH 'FACTS' YOU DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND THEM WHEN SHOUTING, DO YOU MICHAEL?

END RANT!

can this guy get any dumber...??