(Monday Night football theme begins)
'Hi, this is Al-Jahzeera Michaels coming to you from Lincoln field in Philadelphia......tonight's matchup should be a great one......the 'Taliban Terrorists' versus your unarmed, poor-a$$ self......we'll start with the opening kickoff; David Akeristan is teeing off on your Mom's head for the opening kickoff......'
...or perhaps a better way to put it is, "the kickoff is caught deep in the 'endzone'........'no return' on the play.......