Quoth the poor voter: Nevermore

Sacramento Bee ^ | 10/26/6 | Steve Wiegand

[SmithL]

With appropriate apologies to Edgar Allan Poe, and poetry lovers everywhere:

Once upon an evening dreary, as I scanned through eyes all bleary,

O'er campaign fliers and pamphlets that came in the mail more, more and more;

While I read what they were slinging, suddenly there came a ringing

That sounded like a banshee singing -- or perhaps a wild boar.

"That's annoying," is what I muttered, "that noise that cuts me to the core."

It was my telephone, nothing more.

* * *

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was not quite yet November,

And no legislative member trod his hooves on Capitol floors.

In vain I pondered my selection of candidates in this election;

To choose from such a strange collection depressed me to my very core.

I knew they would fill office terms in long years that would number four.

My telephone rang, and rang once more.

* * *

By this time my heart was pounding, in propositions I was drowning,

And in my head there came resounding, "Vote Yes on Q, Vote No on R!"

Levee bonds and tax on oil served to bring me to a boil;

"Enough!" I cried, "I cannot toil through this campaign stuff any more!

"All these pitches for my vote shall push me screaming through the door."

And still the phone rang, as before.

* * *

"Demon," screamed I, "stop your moaning, I have no time for telephoning;

"To listen to some bozo droning on about Prop. 84.

"I have to choose 'tween Phil and Arnie, decide what's true and what is blarney.

"They blow more smoke than State Fair carnies hoping for their next big score."

I answered the phone -- it was Al Gore.

[mtbopfuyn]

Did Al also invent the phone?

[SmithL]

. . . With these five words that set me free:
"Too late -- I voted absentee."

[mtbopfuyn]

OT - does anyone know a link to the poem that follows up on Poe's "Nevermore" about a cat eating the bird?