My concept of masculinity is the quiet strong types, the ones who are nice, and even somewhat self deprecating at times, but who definately COULD KICK YOUR A$$. Think of the character Maximus, in the movie Gladiator. Or the main character in the TV series "Kung Fu". Stoics, yet capable of unleashing great violence when necessary. Soft speaking, but carrying a big stick..
An a$$hole is an A$$hole regardless of the gender.