Namenda helps a little.
She's at a stage where she isn't just forgetful but her personality has changed. Once she was the nicest person you could meet. Now she is always miserable and mean. Part of it is because she just doesn't feel good with all her other health issues.
I'm trying to keep her at home as long as I can but at some point I think I'll have to put her in a home. The stress of caring for her is getting very intense. There are times when I feel like I'm going to stroke out or something. I get mad at myself for feeling that way because my mother certainly is so much worse off.
Bless your heart. While I was spared from dealing with long-term care issues with both of my late parents, I have "walked alongside" several (too many) friends who have had parents with Alzheimer's. Nearly all wound up with PTSD-like symptoms themselves.
My closest friend who I felt handled it the best (and the longest, for many years) did so by not losing her sense of humor. I was the person who would let her tell the funny stories - which weren't really funny, but tragic on their surfaces - when the days had gotten so bad.
It kept her from taking personally the "bad behavior" directed towards her, the only caregiver. It may seem impossible to laugh, but find a trusted friend who understands and won't judge you with "how can you think that about a person who is so ill" and shaming techniques like that.
Then live, love, laugh as much as possible - and save your own sanity. Best of luck to you.
That's the way my grandmother was toward the end of the home caregiving I gave her. She was an entirely different person. Mean, vicious in a verbally demeaning way, vulgar, and since I lived with her, I was her only outlet for her obscenities and outbursts that come out of nowhere. Most of those outbursts came and gone in spurts of varying length from a few minutes to all afternoon. Her eating habits changed to the point she was putting sour cream on jello, stuff like that. I never was critical because I knew that would be a jumping off point for another one of her outbursts. I just took everything in stride. As long as she wasn't putting poison on her food, I wasn't trying to step in and correct her.
My dad put his foot down when she wandered off the farm for a third time this past summer. That was this past July.
The only thing I can tell you is try to make the best of your situation, and don't sweat the moments when your loved one starts calling you names you've never heard come out of her sweet mouth before. I have to say, I had moments where I flew off the handle. My mother corrected my ways by telling me it only makes matters worse for all of us. Those heated outburts from a loved one is just one of the symptoms of alzheimers, most often caused by frustration and confusion and in some cases paranoid of simple things like tepid shallow bath water.
If there is a Hospice in your area I urge you to contact them.
My Mother recently passed (at home) from Alzheimer's and they were FANTASTIC. They can get a nurse to help or just provide someone to sit with your Mom while you get a break. PLEASE contact them you will not be sorry.