Replies

You're gonna bring tears to my eyes.

Thanks tons for your kind words.

Welllllllllll, he's never learned how to live any differently. And, he's more proud and stubborn than he seems able to admit though he only shows such to me most of the time.

I don't know what loving me means to him. Most of the time, I think it means doing the good, right Christian thing in my behalf--as much out of his love for my mother as anything.

Most of my tears since being back in the States have been a shocking spontaneous surprise trying to talking to him and suddenly an issue comes up of some implied or potential increased dialogue or possibility of closer relationship. I think he feels that the tears are bewildering, sissy, weak, something like that.

I don't know that his personality and background ever allowed him much chance to understand or know me in all my 54 years of relationship with him. Have tried hard the last 25 or so. He seemed to respect and understand a lot about my ministry there when they visited Taipei at my arranging.

I don't know what all the factors are in such.

Loving him is not hard. Expressing it in ways he'll tolerate is.

But then, I've usually been accused of trying to channel a fire hose of such through a drinking straw. Sigh.

Your sensitivity, discernment, understanding and compassion in your reply on this are super appreciated and super timely this evening. Last evening I learned some of those things for the first time. I'd felt he was taking things out on me but hadn't dared to really settle on that thought and put such words to it. When the neighbor he respects like a surrogate son put such words to it, I realized it was obviously true.

He's still pretty sharp at 84--unless he's very tired. Then he can sound irrational.

Thanks soooooooooo much for your caring response. Brings warmth and encouragement in a currently fairly dry land. Greatly appreciated.

Thanks tons for prayers for God's Peace. Have been told convincingly with The Lord's confirmation, that The Lord wants me to REST MORE IN HIM. Not sure how to do that better. Prayers for that would be appreciated, too.

LUB,

Loving him is not hard. Expressing it in ways he'll tolerate is.

Know exactly what you mean. (:

Isaiah 30:15

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says,

"In repentance and rest is your salvation;
In quietness and trust is your strength."

You must choose it.