Posted on 10/06/2006 1:42:51 AM PDT by beaversmom
I'D never buy a copy of Men's Health magazine, just like I'd never pay for People, Us or even Real Simple.
But that doesn't mean I don't sometimes flip through those magazines, and Men's Health is now diversion No. 1 one when I spy a copy at the gym or doctor's office.
All because of this tidbit from an article titled "Your To-Don't List — 19 things a man should never do":
"Leer ... pervert isn't a label you can just peel off."
The ellipses save you from salacious descriptions that detract from the main message. Photos throughout the magazine of women's bodies, tousled hair but no names likewise undermine the sincerity. Still: As a woman reading an R-rated, straight-man's magazine that according to The New York Times has a circulation of "almost 1.8 million": Thank you.
Now, this is where some of you will say: "Here comes another feminist rant against men's innocent and sometimes physically uncontrollable impulse to appreciate the beauty of the opposite sex."
And here's where I say, "What is the member of the opposite sex supposed to do with those moments when a man visually takes in her whole body, top to bottom — without apology or even embarrassment — as if entitled to something?"
I'm not talking about quick glances. I'm talking about appraising stares that render many, many women of all ages uncomfortable once any shreds of embarrassed flattery run their course.
Maybe because I'm the mother of two young girls I've become an observer of men ogling teenage girls. They do it all the time, no matter what the teenagers are wearing or what they are doing. I find myself superimposing my kid on those teenagers' bodies and I get creeped out.
That'll be my daughter buying the bag of Kettle Korn...
(Excerpt) Read more at seattletimes.nwsource.com ...
1995: Publishes pro-"migrant-worker" piece, touting a film celebrating the "University of Utah's Chicano Awareness month:" http://espinosa.siteutopia.net/productions/earthslt.htm
2001: Co-hosts a panel discussion at the "Society of Environmental Journalists'" annual conference. Discussion is titled "THE CRAFT: Getting the Right Play for Your Story:" http://www.sej.org/confer/port/agenda.htm
Things that make you go "Hmmmmmm"
Good one!
Women are beautiful, no way I am going to stop looking at them. But I will not "leer" at them. I don't wish to make anyone uncomfortable, I see nothing wrong with a discreet glance. If someone is offended by that, they need to "get thee to a nunnery".
I will make a conscious effort NOT to look at women if I am with my wife, even though it doesn't bother her if I do. I just think it is disrespectful to her. But she has a sense of humor, and we are both people watchers, so she will often nudge me to point out a particularly striking woman...I do the same to her for men...:)
She has often said to me "I married you...I didn't scratch your eyes out..." What a woman!
I always hold doors open for people. Everyone. If they don't say thank you, well...that is their problem. I will sometimes say to them in an audible voice "You're Welcome!"
I do give up my seat on busses and trains to elderly people, male and female. Young women (under the age of sixty) I have found get VERY offended if you offer it, so I don't unless it is a woman with children. The fact that it seems like it is unusual to do says something about society.
My parents taught me to address all men as "Sir" and all ladies as "Ma'am". And I do without failure or hesitation.
"Please" and "Thank You" are obligatory. I take them seriously.
The manager took the complaints seriously. The leer-er was still in his probationary status and these complaints, combined with poor work performance, earned him the boot.
I doubt men really can appreciate how slimy it feels for women to be visually accosted by man after man after man, no matter where she goes in public, to be stripped mentally and all that goes with it, just for walking out in public. Who can blame people for looking at other people? But looking isn't leering. And it isn't just leering that is objectionable; it is the spiritual forces of lust and, in many cases, perversion that go along with the leering, that are so awful. What defense do women have against it? I dress very modestly and I still get the treatment. I don't see how a man can think he has anything approaching a decent consideration for the opposite sex if he ogles, leers, mentally undresses, and toys with women wherever he goes.
I love what the psalmist wrote in Psalm 101:3, that he would set no worthless thing before his eyes. Men who spend a lot of time with porn find it a lot harder to look at a women in real life without crossing the line into leering. Or worse.
And by the way...the woman who wrote this article creeps ME out. She seems like someone who washes her hands excessively...
She sounds like the "leer" police...walking around, taking notes and pictures of men looking at women and posting them on a website or something.
Like that creepy Code Pink woman I saw outside Walter Reed Hospital taking pictures of Freepers license plates to post with other personal information on the Internet.
Any grown woman who refers to men as "icky" needs to avert her eyes...
Having your wife there makes these girls easier to ignore.Also makes the back of your head ache if you don't.
Of course, I'm not into the current "SlutWear" trend, so I'm probably not as much fun as a leering subject. ;-)
I prefer women in just plain Blue Jeans anyway. :-D
If she doesn't want to be leered, or her daughters, another bag of Kettle Korn (a candy I presume) is an excellent solution. Darwin at work.
Good people should be armed where they will, first with wits then with guns. Or a bag of Kettle Korn...tagline
Of course you can't help it. You're a man. That's the way God made your brain. I like men just fine the way they are and wouldn't change a thing about them.
But there is a BIG difference between looking at a woman, noticing her various physical attributes, acknowledging her beauty, and leering. The guy who leers is a jerk. He looks at a woman slowly and carefully, focusing on her breasts and crotch. He gets a slow sideways smile on his face. He drops his eyelids. His breathing may change as if he's getting sexually aroused. His mouth opens a little. His face and body language say, "Spread your legs." It's not just disgusting, it's alarming, because the man who looks this way looks no different than the man who is about to pounce or grab. That's offensive because it's millimeters away from being frightening.
This is very different from the man whose facial expression says, "You're a beautiful lady and I admire the way you look." Only a prude or feminist objects to a man who conveys that message.
I look, but put up a fascade of indifference. I always let women that I am not yet acquanted with set the tone. If they smile or speak, then so do I.
Everybody wins.
I will start worrying when my husband stops looking!
This is so hypocritical. I get leered at by women all the time. Yeah, I admit it gets a little uncomfortable at times (ie when its a female boss), but it isn't a big deal.
Feminist drivel.
Blame men for everything.....again.
She spouts like an ugly woman who is upset men DON'T see her as attractive.
Love it!
My way of putting it is, "If you're not selling, then don't advertise so much"
I'm the father of three daughters. The teenager dresses conservatively because she doesn't feel like having guys ogle her. The younger two will be told to do the same when they reach teen years
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