LOL.... you sound like my husband. There's an "old guy" on our block who fills that role currently, and sometimes when my husband sounds cranky, I ask him if he's studying to take over the part. ;)
It might not cost YOU a lot to retire, but just imagine how much money your wife will be spending while she's out all day getting away from you. ;-D
She retired 2 years ago, so she's doing that now while I work. Lucky lady...