I think there's scorn as well. I was watching this one program about something controversial. This one guy said "Chinese people want to have it both ways. They celebrate their Chinese heritage and expect to be called Americans".
That really is hurtful. And most of all, it is the sentiment of most white Americans. To celebrate shouldn't be seen as having it both ways any more than Irish Americans.
Based upon what you’ve said here I’m afraid you’ll never experience satisfaction, and there’s nothing else to say other than wish you luck in dealing with your feelings of resentment.