Never left lack of angle stop truth or pointed humor... ;)
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"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
prostitutes."
--Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French
one behind me."
--General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion."
--General Norman Schwartzkopf
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about
it."
--Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
--Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
--Rush Limbaugh
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army
is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--Regis Philbin
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of
the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't
have
the face for it."
--John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching
into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman
"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in
Canada
"
--Ted Nugent
"War without France would be like..... World War II."
--Unknown
"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one
that
says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
--Tom Brokaw
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of
its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the
Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there
when they needed us."
--Alan Kent
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare
for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag,
and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
--Argus Hamilton
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
advertised on eBay the other day --the description was, 'Never shot.
Dropped once.'"
--Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've
found truffles in Iraq "
--Dennis Miller
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they
entered
the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not
known, it's never been tried."
--Rep. R. Blount, MO
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after
the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run
to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and
Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent
fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling
their military.
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris , March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on
the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a
nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of
Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to
surrender
to a group of Czech tourists.
