"When we label and marginalize groups of people such as single mothers and their kids as merely the manifestation of bad behavior, we set in place the condition of possibility that they will live their lives limited in the expectation that they can only be what they are called."
The above verbiage is feel-good psychobabble claptrap. And, spat, I find it very hard to believe that you really think this. By the word "label" - does this mean that a single mother who raises a fatherless illegitimate child should not be called a single mother who is raising an illegitimate child? What should she be called, then?
And, pray tell, exactly WHAT do you mean by "marginalize"? Is someone making illegitimate children and single mothers walk on the edge of the sidewalk? Go to the end of the line? Not have any dessert?
Is your line that they should be told "There, there, everything's fine, you're perfect just as you are and anyone who says that children do better living with both biological parents who are married is a mean hateful bigot"?
"And, pray tell, exactly WHAT do you mean by "marginalize"? Is someone making illegitimate children and single mothers walk on the edge of the sidewalk? Go to the end of the line? Not have any dessert?"
No, my point is much simpler. As mentioned a few posts back Aquinas taught we should follow the model of Christ. If you show a person good they will come to know and live good. On the other hand, a person that is never shown good will come to know and live evil.
So, even if a person is not able to respect themselves and, even if, they make really horrible choices we are still called to love them. There is no love without respect. A starting point may be to use a kinder, gentler, more respectful language in expressing your concerns.