Six Reasons WHY I Might Watch Katie Couric!

CaliforniaRepublic ^ | 9/5/06 | Patrick Hurley

[ParsifalCA]

I grew up on the legendary Walter Cronkite and the CBS Evening News. All the other anchormen were wannabes compared to the elegant sea lion. When he would wrap up his newscast with, “And that’s the way it is,” adding the date, I would stand there in awe at the sight of his presence. Only one other person made me gasp like that and she was my favorite brown-eyed Mouseketeer…

Now, there is a new cowgirl on the news prairie and she is going to rock our ranches and stake her claim. I know this is true because I have been seeing the hundreds of thousands of commercials telling me so. This isn’t just ANY anchor man; this is HISTORICAL. The first woman to ever sit on the news throne of greatness. There are so many reasons why I will consider watching Katie from her debut on, (I am shaking as I type this!) Tuesday, September 5, 2006. Oh…my….gosh.

Reason #1 Katie has special powers.

One day she weighed twenty pounds heavier in the ads than she did the next day. That is one BEWITCHED babe! If she can defy gravity and science that easily what will she do with all the problems in the WORLD? I want to see her take on a tsunami and bring it to a sprinkle with one twist of her magical nose. I want to put her in the middle of an insurgent attack in Iraq and watch her turn them into Bambi and friends. I want her to go to New Orleans and jump start the city bringing it back to its glory days of sin and sex! This is not just any anchor person; this is a woman who can control the laws of nature... [more]

[RexBeach]

Well, OK, tonight's the big night for Ms. Couric. Now really, what's the big deal?

God, I can't wait for tomorrow so we can put Ms. Couric's debut behind us.

[lionheart 247365]

Wow !! and I can't think of one .

[Gorzaloon]

I will watch her...

...If I ever get a Freepmail from someone who claims to have loaded her coffee with Ex-Lax before the show.

[sgtbono2002]

I cant wait till the day after tomorrow when CBS realises how badly they screwed the pooch.

[Carry_Okie]

From factual to elegant to loopy to self-absorbed.

Just like America.

[greccogirl]

Well today was Rosie's debut on the "View" and in tpyical fashion, she took over the entire show with her big mouth and even Baba WaWa couldn't get a word in edgewise. Jessica Simpson was the guest and "sang" a song in a breathy little voice. Barf. I won't be watching again. What a train wreck the view has turned into..........

[Cicero]

I think I'll let someone else watch, and read about it here.

[sine_nomine]

As the French kept saying in Henry V, "Would that it were day." Then they got creamed by Harry.

I hope that Katie's number will skyrocket from hype and then plunge faster than a Mosler safe full of Fat Teddy's favorite drugs and liquors.

[BallyBill]

YAWN!

[fsorbello]

Just saw a commercial for this...I'm glad she's going to explain the news to me so I won't have to rely on YOU hacks. :P

[BallyBill]

They could add a segment with Rush Limbaugh and I wouldn't even watch!

[Nachum]

Well, I might watch because she is
1.) intelligent (and perky)
2.) quick witted (and perky)
,3.) easy on the eyes (and perky!)
4.) has a nice voice (and is so perky!)
5.) Is better looking than the other anchors (and is extremely perky!)
6.) Is Perky!

[snarks_when_bored]

Does anybody have a large clear plastic protractor suitable for placing against the T.V. screen? If so, use it to keep a running measure of the angles Katie's neck makes with the vertical. I'm betting she achieves 30° at some time during her, uh, maiden broadcast.

You'd think they'd want to hire newsreaders with their heads on straight (until you remember that it's CBS)...

[Obadiah]

Watch CBS "news"?

Ain't gonna happen! Wouldn't be prudent!

[kevinm13]

If you must watch, wait until Rush has his commentary piece on Thursday. The rest of the lame drive-by media will cover Katie's so-called news debut over the next few days. Don't waste the electricity until Thursday.

[Alex Murphy]

All this talk of Katie Couric, and I haven't seen one mention of that other woman anchor CBS tried out....

"Rather & Chung: How not to end a career...."

[NeoCaveman]

They could add a segment with Rush Limbaugh and I wouldn't even watch!

Rush gets 90 uninterrupted seconds on Thursday's "newscast"

[Dionysius]

(Best Lou Grant voice) "I hate perky!"

[Mind-numbed Robot]

When her head is "on straight" she looks like an NFL linebacker.