I'm not sure what you mean by a "rude awakening" - I made noticeably more money than my husband when we married, and for many years we were evenly matched, with a raise or a job change making one of us pull ahead of the other. He is now about $15,000 ahead of me.
But we are both working for our shared goals, so what difference does it make, who earns more?
OK. Try these comments on for size, repeated/screamed hundreds of times over the course of X years of marriage:
"You can't support me!"
"We need my money to live!"
"I am paying for your previous child!" (This is an especially insane comment by a wife to an always very gainfully-employed husband)
"You contributed NOTHING to ME!" (See previous comment.)
Now, granted, the woman in question had some very serious psychological problems (though of course, it was the husband who was 'crazy'), but the fact is that many (most?) women, even if extremely successful, will resent their husband making less money - no matter how successful he is - this last part is truly insane, but true)
The above example is an extreme one, to be sure, but such women do exist and their attitudes destroy marriages. Now, had the husband in question above made an "appropriate" amount of $$$ in that wife's view, they would still be married. If that is not a definition of an insane woman, then there ain't no such thing.