Where have I said such a thing?
Of the Apostles, all were martyred except for John, the only one of them who witnessed the martyrdom of Jesus. All of the rest were martyred for refusing to deny Jesus, even Peter, eventually.
If one can have one's fingers crossed when denying Jesus, so as to say that one hasn't really denied Him, then martyrdom would be a foolish waste. Do you really believe that?
Centani never denied Jesus, that is all in your mind. Just why is that in your mind?